I absolutely adore Christmas. I’ve got bells that play carols, cherished recipes, and the Michael Bublé Christmas classics on repeat. I really do love it.
So, naturally, I convinced my partner to let us set up the tree a bit earlier this year because I could hardly contain my excitement for the holiday spirit. I envisioned cheerful faces, harmonious moments, and wide-eyed wonder. I was ready for that classic “Christmas magic.”
But let’s be real—putting up the Christmas tree is not the dreamy affair I had imagined. Instead, it turns into an epic showdown between you, your grumpy kids, and your not-so-helpful spouse. Spoiler alert: you’ll be doing about 93% of the work while your pint-sized chaos agents do their best to derail the whole operation. By the end of December, you’ll need a solid month to recover your Christmas spirit after this tree-trimming ordeal.
When you pick the kids up from school and announce it’s time to deck the halls, you’ll likely be met with blank stares. “But I wanted to watch that new superhero movie!” they’ll whine. After reminding them about the tree, the phrase “superhero movie” will pop up 13 more times throughout the night, leading you to contemplate hurling the DVD out the window. Priorities, people!
You might crack open your first beer at 4:45 p.m. Your 3-year-old will feign excitement but spend the evening reorganizing your neatly arranged boxes of decorations and, of course, breaking a few along the way. Your 9-year-old will be unimpressed with all of it. Expect a full-blown debate over whose decorations belong where, with an eye-twitching effect as you watch them hang ornaments randomly, leaving you to wonder if Frosty the Snowman had a wild night before landing on your tree.
This is when you’ll reach for that second beer. Your partner, in a questionable attempt at being helpful, will offer to make dinner. But let’s be honest—he’s just trying to avoid the mayhem that is decorating the tree. While you’re wrangling the kids and trying to create holiday magic, he’s off cooking chicken as if it were a five-course meal.
Amidst the chaos, your kids will butcher Christmas carols, and you’ll spend what feels like an eternity untangling lights—only for your 9-year-old to tangle them right back up again. All while Michael Bublé serenades you from the background.
As the night progresses, your preschooler might decide to turn ornaments into bowling balls, resulting in several casualties. You’ll only communicate with your spouse when asking him to superglue the broken remains. The phrase you’ll use most often? “Don’t touch that.”
At several points, you’ll find yourself reminiscing about how much fun decorating the tree was when you were a kid, wondering why it can’t be like that today. Instead, it feels more like a bar fight than a festive experience. After sending the kids to bed early because—let’s face it—enough is enough, you’ll sit down with your third beer, staring at the chaotic tree you’ve created.
It hits you then: decorating the tree has always been this way. You’ll recall last year when your partner was mysteriously absent during the chaos or the year before when your toddler had an unfortunate bout of stomach flu and decided the tree was a good target. You might even remember your own childhood antics of hiding your sibling’s favorite ornaments just to annoy them.
But somehow, amidst all the madness, the chaos is forgotten. The next morning, as you sip your coffee and gaze at the tree—now with decorations reorganized while you slept—you’ll see your kids marveling at the twinkling lights, their faces beaming with joy. And suddenly, you can’t remember why you were so upset the night before. That, my friends, is the true magic of Christmas.
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Summary
Setting up the Christmas tree often turns into a chaotic endeavor filled with grumpy children, unhelpful spouses, and a lot of frustration. However, the madness fades the next morning when you see your kids’ joy, reminding you of the true spirit of the holidays.