Dear Teenager at the Checkout,
I can tell you’re listening in on my conversation with the mom in front of me. You’re hearing us chat about our kids, pre-school fees, our advanced degrees, soccer practices, and gourmet recipes. You’ve noticed me mention “my son’s father” and noted that there’s no ring on my finger. I see you looking at my smartphone and my polished makeup. You’re eyeing the cart full of groceries and wondering what’s about to happen as I pull out that card from my wallet—the one that boldly declares “BENEFIT” in big letters on its shiny blue surface.
I know what you’re thinking because I might have had the same thoughts at your age.
Look at this single mother. How can she be on the Supplemental Nutrition Assistance Program? How can she own a smartphone (and still need SNAP)? How does she look so put together (and still need SNAP)? How did she earn a master’s degree (and still need SNAP)? How could she afford to send her child to a private school (and still need SNAP)? How can she let her child join after-school activities (and still need SNAP)? How can she talk about cooking such fancy meals (and still need SNAP)? Why does she walk with confidence (and still need SNAP)?
You shift uncomfortably, unsure of how to handle the situation. You call over a manager and nervously hand them my card like it’s something repulsive, whispering, “She has SNAP.” Like it’s a curse word rather than a lifeline that helps me and my son eat.
I smile and wait.
I could blame your youthful innocence, your lack of understanding, your judgmental upbringing, the portrayal in the media, or the political climate for your reaction. But let me share a bit about myself. Yes, I’m a single mother. Although it wasn’t my choice, I made a healthy decision to divorce my ex-husband in pursuit of a better life. I take pride in my appearance; I review beauty products online, shop smart, and often wear hand-me-downs because I believe looking good is important.
I worked hard for my master’s degree, but remember, that piece of paper doesn’t guarantee a high-paying job. I have a smartphone for work—it helps me manage emails and attend video meetings with clients. I work full-time, sometimes late into the night, to provide for myself and my son. While my salary might not reflect my worth, I’m a valuable part of a growing company, and I hope to start my own business one day. That smartphone also lets me access continuing education wherever I am, helping me build my skills.
My son goes to a private school because I make sacrifices. I skip gym memberships and beauty treatments to ensure he gets the best education possible. He can join after-school programs because I barter my marketing skills with local business owners, ensuring he’s part of a positive community while I enhance my credentials.
As for all the food in my cart, I can whip up delicious meals because I meal plan, experiment with new recipes, freeze leftovers, and learn to make the most of what I have. I focus on healthy, enjoyable eating while having fun in the kitchen.
And how do I maintain my confidence? Because I work hard and know my son is proud of me at the end of the day. I remind myself that this situation is temporary. I’m grateful to live in a country that offers assistance like this. I’m honest with the system and have faith that I’m moving forward. Having SNAP is nothing to be ashamed of; I’m a smart woman with a bright future. My marriage may have ended, but that doesn’t define my worth.
To the mom behind me, thank you for your understanding and for not casting judgment as I checked out. It’s people like you who deserve recognition for your kindness and empathy for others.
So, to you, the teenager at the register, I assure you that I don’t need your pity or uninformed judgment. I hope you take the time to educate yourself and show respect to the next person who uses SNAP. If circumstances were different, we would choose otherwise. But I will persevere, and I believe the future is bright.
Warm regards,
A (Hard) Working Single Mom
For more insights on related topics, check out this piece on home insemination. If you want to learn more about home insemination kits, Make a Mom is an excellent source. Additionally, Healthline offers great information on various insemination methods.
Summary
As a dedicated single mom, I embrace the support of Nutrition Assistance without shame. I strive to provide a stable and enriching life for my son while managing my finances, education, and health. My journey is a testament to resilience and the importance of community support.