I recently posed a simple question to a friend who had just tied the knot: was he thinking about starting a family? The response caught me off guard—he fidgeted and eventually admitted, “I know I should have kids because they’re rewarding.” It was like someone had drilled this idea into his head since his wedding day.
He looked at me, almost pleading for validation of this societal expectation to procreate. But that reassurance was going to take a while to come from me.
I’ve got two little ones, ages 5 and 7, and they manage to test my patience on a regular basis. Honestly, I’m too drained to convince anyone to jump into parenthood. If you’re not feeling it, don’t have kids—trust me, everyone will be better off. Except maybe the therapists, but they’ll figure it out.
Now, for those who do want kids, it’s essential to grasp that childbirth might not be as rewarding as society claims. When I think “rewarding,” I picture hard work leading to a satisfying outcome, a sense of achievement even in tough times. But parenting? It doesn’t quite fit that mold.
I won’t bore you with how exhausting it is to raise kids; we all know the sleepless nights and sore bodies come with the territory. What’s less discussed, though, is how quickly sympathy for new parents runs dry. Society expects you to soldier on without using your kids as a crutch for complaints. Take my neighbor, for example; he bitches about construction dust while referring to his 2-year-old in a baby voice. Newsflash: once your kid hits two, the whining passes the expiration date.
There’s a standard script to follow: put a picture of your child on your desk, share a funny story about them once in a while, but don’t dare mention the real struggles of parenting. Who wants to hear the truth?
Imagine posting something like, “My kid threw a tantrum on the subway because I wouldn’t let him play games on my phone, and then he farted on me in front of everyone.” Crickets, right? The real pressures of raising a little human and ensuring they grow up with decent self-esteem are rarely acknowledged. The burden is heavy and leaves me feeling like I’m messing up—like I’m failing at everything.
I try to apply expert advice, like the “1, 2, 3” technique, but the reality is often more chaotic. Instead of losing my cool, I remind myself to breathe and calmly warn my daughter about her behavior. Great! I’ve taught her boundaries. But then I go home, pour a glass of wine, and inevitably spiral into self-doubt, wondering if I’m raising her to be overly compliant.
My son, on the other hand, seems unphased by discipline. I can’t help but wonder if he’s going to be a free spirit or a future leader. No one knows how it will all shake out. My stepmother had the same approach with her kids: one ended up in prison, and the other became a successful executive. Tragedy struck when she lost her life unexpectedly. Did she find parenting rewarding? I can’t ask her now.
What I do recognize about parenting is that it has pushed me beyond my comfort zone. I’ve discovered depths of love and compassion I never knew existed. I feel everything—anger, joy, fear, all of it bubbling just beneath the surface.
On a recent flight, as turbulence hit, I found myself gripping the armrest and crying. The thought of my wife holding our daughter’s hand reminded me of how much I have to lose now.
Parenting forces me to continually assess my actions, asking myself if I’m doing my best. Often, I come up short, but I get back up and try again, and in doing so, I’ve grown as a person.
Occasionally, moments of beauty break through the chaos. I watched my son help other kids at the playground, and my daughter stood up for him during a soccer game, telling her peers he deserved a chance to play. I teared up (dusty environment, obviously). These instances could be seen as the essence of “rewarding.” But does that mean I’m wrong about parenting? I can’t say for certain because the future remains a mystery.
If you’re interested in more on this topic, you might find useful insights in this article about home insemination kits, which can be quite enlightening for those considering starting a family. For a broader understanding of pregnancy options, check out this resource on in vitro fertilization.
Summary
Parenting can be a complex experience, filled with unexpected challenges and moments of joy. While some find it rewarding, others may struggle with the pressures and responsibilities that come with raising children. Ultimately, it’s a journey of personal growth, love, and uncertainty, where the outcomes remain to be seen.