In a year where chaos has reigned supreme, perhaps the one silver lining has been the growing awareness of the societal issues we face. Much like that bright light an aesthetician uses during a facial to reveal all the imperfections, it’s impossible to ignore the glaring flaws of sexism and misogyny that stain our culture. With convicted offenders receiving mere slaps on the wrist and a new president boasting about inappropriate behavior, the ugly truths of American society are on full display.
Recently, I’ve heard countless conversations centered around the impact of these issues on our daughters. Mothers lament for their girls, and fathers express shock, declaring, “As a dad of daughters, this is unacceptable.” Yes, their outrage is valid, but it also prompts me to question: What about us parents raising boys?
Being a woman, I am acutely aware of the deep roots of sexism in our society. I’ve faced workplace harassment and have been the target of unwanted attention more times than I care to remember. Though I’ve been fortunate enough to avoid sexual assault, I know many women who haven’t. Yet, as a mother of boys, I refuse to see their gender as the source of societal issues. They may not be directly victimized by misogyny, but we must not ignore how toxic stereotypes affect them too. It’s shortsighted to think we can only be outraged on behalf of daughters. Sexism harms us all, and it’s crucial we unite to change the narrative that permeates our world.
As Steven J. Wright articulated in a piece for the Sun Times, “While fathers of daughters may feel a personal connection to this outrage, it’s fathers of sons who hold the power to combat the misogyny embedded in our culture.” He backs this up with statistics that remind us how prevalent sexism, harassment, and assault truly are. But what stood out to me was his call to action: “As a father of sons, it’s my job to help fix these problems.” Wright emphasizes that just as we discuss civil rights and discrimination with our kids, we must also address the historical challenges women have faced due to men.
When I read that, I wanted to shout, “Yes! Finally!” We’ve become adept at calling out sexist behavior, but we often fall short when it comes to taking responsibility or proposing solutions. So much of the conversation revolves around outrage—“This is wrong! Things must change!”—and while that anger is justified (trust me, I’m angry too), mere outrage won’t create lasting change. True transformation comes from consistent, proactive steps.
Teaching boys the right way to behave is one thing; demonstrating how to be good and decent men is entirely different. Anyone can voice their opinions about injustice, but men need to embody those values daily.
Take my partner, for example. He doesn’t just tell our boys to respect women; he actively shows them how to treat everyone—both men and women—with kindness. He boasts about my accomplishments in front of our kids, celebrates the achievements of women everywhere, and teaches our boys that “no” truly means “no” by immediately stopping any roughhousing when asked. He’s not afraid to show vulnerability, crying openly and encouraging our boys to express their emotions too. He repeatedly reminds them that it’s not enough to simply avoid being sexist; they have to challenge it when they see it, even if it leads to tough conversations with friends.
And while I might be a bit biased, my partner isn’t the only dad out there committed to raising boys as empathetic men. Across the nation, countless fathers are stepping up, nurturing their sons to embrace feminism and combat the cycle of misogyny. We must shine a light on their efforts and recognize the significant impact men can have on shaping the behavior of future generations.
So, here’s to all the amazing dads out there! To those teaching their sons that “no” always means “no,” and even silence is a form of refusal. To those who change diapers without seeking accolades and whip up meals while thanking their partners for fixing the sink. To the men who shed tears and create a safe space for their sons to do the same. Here’s to the dads who reject the notion of “man up” and proudly embrace their roles as feminists, actively living out the principles of equality.
Good and decent men, we see you. We appreciate you. And we’re counting on you to help shape the next generation into a world filled with even more compassionate individuals. Together, we can tackle the ugly, festering issues of misogyny that affect us all.
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In conclusion, let’s remember that meaningful change begins at home, with fathers setting examples for their sons—something we all can contribute to for a brighter future.