Have you ever found yourself at a Thanksgiving feast, eyeing the dessert table and thinking, “Wouldn’t it be amazing if we could just mash all these pies together and dive right in?” No? Well, it seems someone did, and thus the abomination known as Pecapplekin Pie was born. Seriously, stop right there.
A popular food website asks, “Why choose between pecan, apple, and pumpkin pie when you can have all three in one?” The answer? Because we don’t need to. Everyone happily takes a slice of each pie, and that’s the beauty of it. This dessert fusion is like a culinary nightmare, akin to a rave led by an overly caffeinated Betty Crocker. Chill out, Betty, and maybe grab a glass of water.
At a civilized Thanksgiving, guests enjoy a sliver of each pie while dramatically claiming they can’t possibly eat another bite. Spoiler alert: they totally will! But if everyone were to indiscriminately combine their favorite foods, chaos would ensue. I mean, sure, crafting a hot turkey smoothie the day after Thanksgiving might be acceptable—mixing turkey, mashed potatoes, gravy, and stuffing in a bowl until it’s a gooey blend is fine when you’re alone. But doing that at the dinner table? Not cool. Just savor your food the way it’s meant to be enjoyed.
There’s no need to concoct bizarre food hybrids to expand our culinary horizons. Thanksgiving desserts are already perfect—pumpkin pie is delightful, apple pie is scrumptious, and pecan pie filling is heavenly. So, let’s not mess with perfection. There’s no room for your turduckin or your Pecapplekin Pie here.
This article was originally published on November 22, 2016.
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In summary, Pecapplekin Pie is an unnecessary food hybrid that threatens the sanctity of traditional Thanksgiving desserts. Instead of mixing everything together, let’s cherish each pie for what it is.