I have three kids, each with their own unique sleeping patterns. But one thing has been consistent: no matter what approach we tried (and believe me, we explored a ton), it wasn’t until they hit the age of three that they started sleeping through the night regularly. That translates to three years of bleary eyes multiplied by three kids. That’s nine years of midnight cradle sessions, rocking a little one as dawn broke, all while realizing I’d have to face the day on minimal sleep.
Throughout those years, I encountered countless people who felt the need to comment on my child’s sleep habits. Whether I was in a full-time job, attending classes, or being a stay-at-home dad, there was always someone ready to share their unsolicited advice or boast about how well their child slept, often with a hint of smugness that suggested they were superior in the parenting department.
Maybe it was the fatigue that led to my irritation. I often felt like my child had drawn the short straw in the sleep lottery, leaving me to deal with the fallout. The last thing I wanted was to hear some condescending expert suggesting I let my kid cry it out or slather them with essential oils.
Honestly, just no.
Right now, I’m navigating this with my toddler, and I simply don’t have the energy for judgment. I’m exhausted and perplexed, fully aware that tomorrow will likely be the same. I understand what comes with a child who doesn’t sleep well—I’ve come to terms with it. But a decade ago, I didn’t. I wasted precious moments listening to self-righteous parents with sleeping children who thought they had all the answers, when really, the answer was just time. My kids needed time to figure it out.
That’s the real kicker.
The worst part was feeling like there was something wrong with my child—or fearing that I was somehow failing as a parent. After raising three sleep-deprived kids, I’ve learned that judging someone for their child’s sleeping issues isn’t community support; it’s just being a jerk.
Now that I’m a parent, I recognize that every child sleeps differently and develops at their own pace. While my child might be wide awake at 2 AM, yours may be sleeping soundly tonight, but in a couple of years, my kid might be the first to master potty training or reading. It’s not a race, so let’s ditch the competitive attitude.
So to all those “perfect” parents out there, please keep your “I clearly have parenting figured out because my kid sleeps” comments to yourself.
Let’s get real: Parenting is tough. It’s draining. For us, sleepless nights are just part of our family’s DNA. I come from a long line of insomniacs, and here you are, with your pristine sleep schedule, looking down from your high horse. Not helpful. In fact, it’s harmful. You’re making things harder for those of us who are struggling.
Instead of being judgmental, how about showing a little empathy? Refrain from sharing how wonderfully your kid sleeps. Don’t offer advice as if it’s a universal truth just because it worked for your child.
Okay, I know I’m venting. But I’m tired. I need understanding, not criticism. I crave support from people who will reassure me that everything will be alright—that if I stick it out, we will get through this and that my child’s sleep struggles don’t mean I’m a failure as a parent.
Dealing with a child who refuses to sleep is no walk in the park. To all the parents out there holding their restless little ones at 3 AM and waking with bloodshot eyes, I see you. You’re doing a fantastic job. You’re a devoted parent, present when your child needs you most. That often means holding them when they’re sick, comforting them when they’re needy, or staying awake until the dawn because sleep just hasn’t clicked for them yet.
None of this makes you a bad parent. In fact, it shows your dedication. Forget the critics; they might have it easy now, but they’ll face challenges down the road. That’s just the cycle of parenting. So, let’s take this moment to support each other instead.
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In summary, let’s foster a community of understanding instead of judgment. Parenting is hard enough without the added pressure of comparisons. Empathy is what we all need as we navigate these sleepless nights together.