The other day, I made the questionable choice of wearing my black fabric sneakers to the park. My friend Alex playfully dubbed them my “skater shoes.” Sure, they provide no support whatsoever, but I can’t help but love their look. They’re youthful, simple, and undeniably fun. They embody a vibe that feels so carefree and stress-free—just like the life I aspire to have.
However, I’m definitely feeling the consequences of my footwear choice today. My shins are aching—so much so that I had to pop three extra-strength pain relievers. That’s one too many!
But let me tell you, we had an absolute blast! We dashed back and forth between the “little kid zone” and the “big kid zone” repeatedly. My daughter is right in that awkward in-between age, and it’s all brand new for both of us.
In those sneakers, I managed to keep up with her as she scaled the rock wall, scampered across the wobbly bridge, and zipped down the “big, beautiful tunnel slide,” as she affectionately named it. Surprisingly, those shoes gave me the courage to push past my claustrophobia and even my fear of heights, allowing me to joyfully follow her down that slide. Those sneakers momentarily transformed me into the adventurous girl I used to be and the fun mom I always envisioned.
I found myself moving quicker than usual, driven by the energy of youth that those sneakers seemed to embody. They’re the kind of shoes that kids wear, along with the trendy young moms, and I could almost feel my inner child slipping into a pair.
Now, I find myself contemplating a change in my hairstyle. The recurring thought in my head is, “I love ____, but I’m too old for that.” Whether it’s pastel pink, a vibrant Kelly Osbourne lavender gray, goth-inspired dark auburn, or chunky bleached streaks, I tend to overthink every option. I start to second-guess my right to express myself and how I want to look. Before I know it, a simple search for hairstyle inspiration becomes a full-blown therapy session. My hair seems stuck in a time loop, even as I evolve.
I strive to be bold and embrace the skin I’m in. I try not to dwell on the implications of rocking bright hair colors or sparkly glasses. Nor do I want to feel self-conscious about being that almost 50-year-old mom with a 3-year-old, prancing around Nomahegan Park in the wrong sneakers, clearly having more fun than the other mothers with their “normal” hair.
I also push aside the nagging thought that I’m past the point of going after the only two careers I truly desire: being a mom and an author.
I’m writing my own narrative now, and that includes sporting those wrong sneakers, even if my shins scream in protest later. I’m planning to color my hair in an unconventional hue soon. I refuse to overthink what brings me joy. I’m ready to embrace it all!
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Summary
In this reflective piece, Jamie Collins shares her experience of wearing the wrong sneakers to the park with her daughter, embracing spontaneity despite the aches that followed. She delves into her thoughts on self-expression, particularly concerning hair color and personal choices, ultimately deciding to stop overthinking and start living joyfully.