When it comes to anxiety-inducing experiences, school concerts are right up there on the list. The emotional rollercoaster of the actual event, combined with the chaotic preparation, often makes me rethink my life choices—like maybe I should have opted for homeschooling instead.
Getting my kids dressed is a Herculean task, especially since they view pants as a form of torture. Convincing them to don khakis and a collared shirt is practically a miracle, which means they inevitably end up being the least stylish kids in the room. The quest for a decent seat often involves navigating a line reminiscent of the frenzy outside a tech store during a product launch. After elbowing my way to a spot (in the back, naturally) and surviving the obligatory chit-chat with other parents, I find myself sweating in my yoga pants, anxiously waiting for the moment I’ll need to give my child The Look.
There are many milestones in parenting, but few are as emotionally charged as a school concert. A perfect storm of joy, anxiety, pride, and fear swirls inside me, making it hard to sort through the chaos of feelings. Here’s a glimpse into the thoughts racing through my mind during this wild event:
When will this thing finally start?
We’ve been crammed into these uncomfortable metal chairs for what feels like forever. Twenty minutes of small talk, smiling at the overly enthusiastic room mom, and trying to remember the assistant principal’s name. Not to mention dodging the side-eye from the PTA volunteer coordinator for my “lack of involvement.”
Is everyone else as nervous as I am?
Because I’m feeling jittery. After years of my kids making a scene on stage, I’m not just nervous; I’m outright terrified. Maybe, just maybe, this will go smoothly.
Wait, he’s actually singing and not acting out?
Miracles do happen.
What’s that on his shirt?
Is that grease? Dirt? Oh, thank goodness, it’s just a wrinkle—because I forgot to iron it! What kind of mom forgets to iron her kid’s shirt before a concert?
What is he doing now?
Is he picking his nose?! Oh, thank goodness, he’s just scratching it. But everyone will think he’s digging for treasure! Agh!
Did I leave my flat iron on?
Crap. I’m pretty sure I left it on. And the stove too. I should probably text my neighbor to check if our house is still standing.
How much longer is this going to last?
I have cookies to “bake” for tomorrow’s class party, and by “bake,” I mean buy from the grocery store. Plus, those teacher gifts aren’t going to wrap themselves! I also need to catch up on several episodes of my favorite show.
Hey, buddy, put that iPad down!
You, yes you, with the enormous iPad recording every off-key note from your little star—could you please put it down before I snatch it out of your sweaty hands?
When did these kids grow up so fast?
It’s hard to believe he’s already in fourth grade. When did that happen? When did I age too?
Don’t cry.
Too late. I’m tearing up. Hopefully, no one notices. I just pray my mascara holds up. But then again, everyone else seems to be crying too.
Maybe I should have had a drink before this.
Why don’t they serve wine at these events? Now that would be a fundraiser worth attending!
School concerts are definitely not for the faint-hearted. Hang in there, fellow parents! For more tips on parenting and navigating these wild moments, check out our other posts like this one on home insemination.
In summary, school concerts are a whirlwind of emotions and thoughts, from anxiety over clothing choices to nostalgia about how fast our kids are growing up. They test our patience and our ability to hold back tears—all while keeping up with the chaos around us.