What happened to the compassion and understanding for expecting mothers? A quick scroll through the internet reveals countless people telling women like me to zip it when it comes to sharing the struggles of pregnancy. The reasons behind this attitude are bafflingly selfish and downright rude. Honestly, I’m fed up with folks insisting on how pregnant women “should” feel.
Let’s get real: pregnancy isn’t always the magical nine-month journey we’re led to believe. More often, it’s a grueling ten-month ordeal filled with a laundry list of unpleasant symptoms—some of which are both painful and embarrassing! While we’re expected to glow and radiate joy (after all, we’re told we’re miracles in motion), there are days when I just want to indulge in a pint of ice cream and let loose with some honest complaints, even if it means facing the consequences later.
You might not see the discomfort I’m in or sense the anxiety I feel before my next OB appointment. You probably won’t notice the panic about whether my prenatal vitamins are even reaching my little one, especially when they come right back up. And I can guarantee you’re blissfully unaware of the month-long yeast infection I’ve been battling. Yep, it’s a real treat.
So when I express my exhaustion, complain about the smell of chicken making me nauseous, or wistfully mention how much I miss brie and wine, the last thing I need to hear is “You knew what you were getting into!” or “Some women can’t conceive, so you shouldn’t complain!” or “You should feel #SoBlessed!”
In a world that champions the idea that “it takes a village,” shouldn’t that also mean supporting pregnant women with kindness and empathy?
Yes, I’ll vent. Yes, I’ll shed a tear. Yes, I may lose my cool from time to time. And when that happens, it’s not the moment for you to judge or dispense unsolicited advice on how I ought to conduct myself while carrying a child.
Wouldn’t it be refreshing if you could do any of the following instead?
- Ask me how I’m doing—not my partner, my kids, or even my pet.
- Actually listen without feeling the need to give advice.
- Offer me some cake, steak, or whatever I’m craving at the moment.
- Share a funny story or joke (just wait until after I’ve used the restroom, please).
- Treat me to lunch or lend a hand with the dishes while I take a breather.
- Check if I need anything—like pickles, cake, or steak.
- Offer a foot rub.
- Distract me with exciting baby name discussions!
- Repeat number two.
- And throw in number three for good measure.
- Just be a decent, caring human being.
Pregnancy and parenthood are incredibly challenging. No one truly understands my unique struggles, as every mother’s experience is distinct—even in similar circumstances. But we can all agree that mothers play an invaluable role in our lives. So let us freely express our frustrations without guilt or shame.
To all the moms and moms-to-be out there, I see you, I empathize with your discomfort, and I support your need to vent. Go ahead and enjoy that craving of yours, and make sure to put your feet up—you’ve earned it.
And to those who think it’s okay to silence women like me, may you experience a few not-so-pleasant pregnancy symptoms yourself.
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Summary:
Expecting mothers deserve the space to express their feelings without judgment. Pregnancy is often filled with discomforts that are overlooked by others. Instead of offering unsolicited advice, friends and family should provide empathy and support. It’s crucial to acknowledge the challenges of motherhood and to allow women to vent their frustrations without guilt.