Let’s be clear: some mothers choose not to breastfeed, and that’s their choice—one that deserves respect. A mother’s worth isn’t measured by how she feeds her baby, period. However, many moms enter motherhood with the intention to breastfeed, yet numerous find themselves unable to meet their breastfeeding goals.
A 2012 study in Pediatrics revealed that 85% of mothers plan to exclusively breastfeed for at least three months. Yet, looking at the actual breastfeeding rates, many moms discontinue early on. For instance, the CDC’s 2014 Breastfeeding Report Card indicated that while 79% of mothers breastfeed for some time, only 40% are exclusively breastfeeding at three months, and by six months, that number drops to just 18%. The American Academy of Pediatrics recommends exclusive breastfeeding for the first six months, so what gives?
Is it that mothers’ bodies aren’t up for the task, or babies aren’t good at nursing? Or is biology just not on our side? As a lactation consultant and a mom who faced her own challenges breastfeeding, I’ve observed a pattern: it’s not usually the mom or baby who struggles with breastfeeding—it’s the system (or lack thereof) that fails them.
Now, don’t get me wrong; biological issues do exist. Sometimes, moms might have trouble producing enough milk, or babies might have anatomical issues like tongue ties. However, there are often solutions or at least ways to make breastfeeding work in various circumstances. For example, if a woman can’t produce enough milk, there are options to supplement alongside breastfeeding. I’ve worked with moms who have overcome incredible odds, including those who only have one functional breast or can only produce a fraction of their baby’s needs.
The unfortunate reality is that many mothers are unaware of the resources available to them. They may not have access to quality support that is often not covered by insurance. Plus, the demands of daily life can make it hard for new moms to address the challenges of breastfeeding.
When issues arise, finding solutions can take time—sometimes even weeks. Many new moms receive brief lactation consultations in the hospital, but what happens when they get home? That’s often where the real challenges begin. Milk comes in, leading to painful engorgement, or it’s delayed, leaving babies fussy and hungry. It’s completely normal for breastfeeding to be difficult at first, but it requires patience and time.
Breastfeeding is a natural process, but it’s also a learned skill for both mothers and infants. Succeeding takes encouragement, education, and, often, expert support. However, many moms lack this crucial backing.
It’s no surprise that many women throw in the towel early on—often they simply don’t know where to turn for help or can’t afford it. When responsibilities around the house and caring for other children loom large, how can new moms focus on establishing a breastfeeding routine?
In many other countries, mothers receive community support and guaranteed maternity leave, allowing them to focus on healing and learning to breastfeed without the immediate pressure of returning to work. Unfortunately, our system falls short in providing this crucial support to breastfeeding mothers.
So, if you’re feeling like you “failed” at breastfeeding, hear me loud and clear: you did not fail. You did your best, and that is what counts. You nourished your baby, formed a strong bond, and deserve all the support you didn’t receive. The real failure lies within the system that should have been there for you.
For more insights on navigating these challenges, visit this resource. You can also check out this guide for further information on home insemination kits. And for those exploring intrauterine insemination, Cleveland Clinic offers excellent information.
In summary, breastfeeding is a complex journey often made more challenging by an unsupportive system. If you faced difficulties, remember that you’re not alone, and you didn’t fail—neither you nor your baby.