If you were to ask me about my high school education, I could list a few memorable lessons. For instance, I learned to avoid drawing a cartoon titled “Epic Unicorn” when the teacher is lurking behind me during study hall. I also discovered that asking the cafeteria staff for “pizza, no cheese” is a surefire way to receive a disapproving look. And let’s not forget the golden rule: three tardies equal automatic detention. Additionally, I learned that if you ask to leave class for “female issues,” the social studies teacher won’t ask questions.
However, when it comes to actual educational content, my recollection is hazy at best. I couldn’t solve an algebra equation if it meant a $100,000 reward and a date with Ryan Gosling. I vaguely recall dissecting a frog—mostly due to the unforgettable scent of formaldehyde—but as for conjugating Spanish verbs? I can only manage “who tooted?”—go figure.
Clearly, I absorbed something to graduate and snag a college scholarship, but in truth, I felt ill-equipped for the challenges of adult life after years of schooling. Sure, I picked up a few random life lessons in health or home economics (like “use a condom” and “turn off the oven”), but given the amount of adulting we have to do post-graduation, I wish there had been more focus on practical skills.
How to Cook a Decent Meal
In seventh grade home ec, we might have made brownies and soup once, but soon after we switched to sewing pillows—a skill I have yet to utilize. I learned to whip up a killer bowl of ramen noodles in my college dorm with bathroom tap water, but that’s about it. The early years of my marriage were filled with overcooked chicken and Rice-A-Roni, and for anyone I invited over for dinner, I’m truly sorry. Come back! I can cook now. Sort of.
Nutrition (or How You’ll Feel Crappy if You Eat Poorly)
They should have offered a class called “Enjoy All the Taco Bell You Can Now Because Your Metabolism Will Tank After 30.” While we touched on the food pyramid, a more realistic and detailed understanding of how food impacts health and weight would have been invaluable.
Home and Car Maintenance
I always dreamed of owning a house and car, but I never considered the upkeep involved. Learning how to change oil, tires, and even some basic plumbing could have saved me from numerous minor disasters.
Sewing Skills
While we’re on the topic of repairs, I wish I had grasped sewing better. Sure, I stitched a pillow in class, but do I spend my days sewing pillows now? Nope. Knowing how to mend missing buttons or fix beloved stuffed animals would have been far more useful. If I’d learned to hem pants correctly, my son’s first Halloween costume wouldn’t have been a mini dress (I got a bit carried away, okay?).
Laundry 101
In my teenage years, laundry was simple: I handed it to my mom, and it magically returned clean. Now, as a parent of six, I’ve learned there’s a lot more to it than just tossing clothes in and adding soap. I could have saved a fortune on ruined clothes if I knew what shrinks, what bleeds, and how to tackle stains like permanent marker and, well, poop.
Avoiding Financial Follies
Back when I was in school, we learned to balance a checkbook for a week—end of course. I’m sure today’s students learn more, but it still likely isn’t enough to prepare for adult financial challenges. With heaps of credit card offers flooding college students’ mailboxes, a course on building and maintaining credit would have been a great starting point. Even though I might have snoozed through lessons on investing and retirement savings, I could have at least grasped the basics. And taxes—they’re unavoidable (like death), but a little prep on the ins and outs would have been solid.
Money-Saving Techniques
Let’s face it: many of us will experience financial difficulties or live on a tight budget at some point. Wouldn’t it have been great to learn how to stretch a dollar? Maybe a guest lecture from extreme couponing pros or tips on unconventional income sources, like selling plasma or flipping garage sale finds, could have been helpful.
Effective Adult Communication
We spend so much time interacting with adults, whether they’re bosses, coworkers, spouses, or teachers. Knowing how to communicate effectively and avoid looking like a socially awkward mess would have been a game changer. For someone like me, who isn’t naturally social, a class on negotiating and connecting with others would have been immensely beneficial. Plus, lessons on how to argue constructively with partners—because tossing a cheeseburger at your husband isn’t the best way to solve a disagreement—would have been useful too.
Looking back, I’d like to think that if these classes existed, I would have been better prepared for life. In reality, I probably would have zoned out, retaining just enough to pass. No matter how crucial you think a lesson is, teenagers often don’t recognize its value—they tend to think 25 is ancient and don’t see the point in acquiring skills they won’t need for years. Trust me, I was too busy doodling caped penises to care.
For more insights on adulting and related topics, check out this informative piece on home insemination and for those looking to start a family, Make a Mom has excellent resources. Plus, if you’re interested in pregnancy and fertility, this site is an invaluable resource.
Summary
High school lessons often miss the mark on essential life skills, leaving graduates ill-prepared for adulthood. From cooking and nutrition to financial literacy and effective communication, there are vital topics that would have made a significant difference. While I may have daydreamed through such classes, it’s clear these skills are crucial for navigating real-life challenges.