In her latest Vogue feature, Adele opens up about the realities of postpartum depression, the challenges of motherhood, and the guilt that often comes with being a working mom. She’s gracing the cover, and her candid words are like a breath of fresh air—truly a must-read for any new mom navigating the stormy seas of parenthood. Because let’s face it, new motherhood isn’t always the fairy tale it’s cracked up to be. When someone as influential as Adele admits it can be tough, it helps other moms in the trenches feel less isolated.
“I told a friend one day, ‘I f**king hate this,’ and she just lost it, saying, ‘I f**king hate this too!’ And that was that. It was a huge relief,” Adele shares. “People think postpartum means you don’t want to be with your baby or you’re worried about hurting them. For me, it was different. I was obsessed with my child but felt completely inadequate and questioned if I’d made the worst decision ever. It can manifest in many ways.”
I can relate. After my first child arrived, I cried every single day for three months. We had been trying for five years, and when the moment finally came, I expected that magical rush of love. Instead, I felt broken. I questioned if I was even a real mother—why wasn’t I bursting with joy? What was wrong with me?
I loathed early motherhood. The sleepless nights? Hated them. The uncertainty of whether I was doing anything right? Hated that too. Everyone gushing about how “amazing” it was? I wanted to scream. It was the toughest period of my life. If only I had a friend like Adele to say, “I f**king hate this”—it might have jolted me back to reality. It’s okay to miss life before kids; loving your children doesn’t mean you have to love every moment of motherhood.
Adele candidly admits, “I think it’s brave not to have kids; my friends and I felt pressured into it because that’s what adults do. I adore my son, but every day I wish I could do whatever the f**k I wanted, whenever I wanted.” How often do we hear moms openly express this? It’s often a taboo subject, but so many of us have felt that way. Wanting freedom doesn’t make you a bad mom; it makes you human.
She continues, “Eventually, I decided to give myself an afternoon each week just to do whatever the f**k I wanted, sans baby. A friend asked if I felt guilty, and sure, I did—but it didn’t compare to the guilt I’d feel if I didn’t take that time. Four of my friends felt the same but were too embarrassed to talk about it. They worried people would judge them. But taking that time makes you a better mom.”
If you’re feeling overwhelmed, remember you’re not alone. Resources are available, and you can always reach out for support. For more insights, check out our other blog post, where we dive deeper into the realities of pregnancy and home insemination. And if you’re looking for authoritative information, visit Make a Mom for their expert take on the home insemination journey. You can also explore UCSF’s fertility page for some excellent guidance on pregnancy and insurance options.
In summary, Adele’s revelations are a powerful reminder that it’s perfectly okay to express the less glamorous aspects of motherhood. It’s not just about the love for our children but also about acknowledging our struggles as moms. Let’s keep the conversation going and support each other along the way.