By: Samantha Rivers
Trigger warning: contains description of the death of a child.
That fateful day began like any other. My little boy, Jake, was feeling adventurous and independent. In the blink of an eye, everything changed. Tragically, his life came to an abrupt end. Just weeks shy of turning 2, Jake was a curious toddler who loved exploring.
We were in the midst of moving boxes into my father’s house after my mother had passed away three months prior. The kitchen was where I had been for just a few moments—no closed doors, maybe 20 feet away from where Jake was happily munching on raisins while watching cartoons. My husband was busy in the garage with my dad.
The French doors leading to the backyard were supposed to keep Jake safe, but he somehow managed to open them silently. When I returned to the living room, he was gone. I thought he was just playing hide and seek. “Jake! Where are you?!” I called out in a sing-song voice, searching the house while my husband and father checked outside. Then, I heard a scream and a splash. My husband jumped in, my father called 911, and I stood frozen in shock. I can still hear my father yelling, “He’s in the pool! Oh my God! He’s in the pool!”
Living in a house with a pool, I never fully grasped the level of danger it presented. I reassured my mother-in-law that Jake would never be outside alone, even though she lived in a place where toddler drownings were far too common. If only I had been more aware of water safety while living in New Jersey, where seasons change but the risks remain.
On that day, I underestimated Jake. He was an amazing little boy, who, if anything, had a cautious nature. Just that morning, I had spoken with my dad about how attached Jake was to me. I share this to resonate with any parent who thinks, “this could never happen to me.” I can’t confirm whether the door was locked, but had I been more vigilant about water safety, I would have ensured it was. Just like we secure our cleaning supplies, we need to treat pools, ponds, and other water hazards with the utmost seriousness.
According to the CDC, children aged 1 to 4 are at the highest risk for drowning, primarily in residential pools. It’s the leading cause of death for that age group and the second leading cause of unintentional injury-related death for children aged 1 to 14, following car accidents. Awareness, education, and proper fencing could have saved Jake’s life. The CDC states that “a four-sided isolation fence (separating the pool area from the house and yard) reduces a child’s risk of drowning by 83% compared to three-sided property-line fencing.” This statistic became the foundation for the ordinance enacted in Jake’s name.
In the months after losing Jake, we found solace within our community and clergy. Almost a year later, our synagogue’s cantor shared that she had applied for a permit to build a pool in the same town where Jake had died. The town clerk informed her that fencing laws had changed, “because of that little boy that died.” We felt a mix of emotions. The next day, my husband reached out to the town and learned about the Child Fatality and Near Fatality Review Board, which investigates how such tragedies could be prevented.
Jake’s case had been presented anonymously, and when we saw the paperwork, it was haunting to see just his initials scattered throughout. We contacted the committee person responsible for the ordinance and requested that they honor Jake by using his name and picture. Now known as Jake’s Ordinance, it mandates a four-sided barrier with a locking entrance for all new pool constructions. It felt like Jake was alive again, in a poignant yet impactful way.
You might be thinking, “This could never happen to me. I keep a close eye on my child. They can swim. We don’t have a pool.” But many mothers I’ve met since Jake’s passing have shared their own close calls—children wandering into danger unnoticed, running into the street, or experiencing accidents at home. I’ve mostly received compassion and understanding.
Losing a child is an indescribable tragedy, one that many find difficult to discuss. Those who have their children safe often feel the most uncomfortable when the topic arises. But I am certain that lives have already been saved because of Jake. So, I urge you—be vigilant around water. Educate yourselves. Ensure that all doors leading to and surrounding your pool have secure locks. Please, don’t think this could never happen to you. For more information on pregnancy and home insemination, check out this excellent resource.
In conclusion, water safety is crucial for every parent, and knowing how to protect our children from such preventable tragedies can make all the difference.