Moving is never a walk in the park, no matter how old you are. From decluttering your space and questioning how you accumulated so much junk, to packing and running out of tape while desperately wrapping fragile items in whatever you can scrounge up, it’s a workout that leaves you with sore arms, smashed fingers, and broken nails. Not to mention the scrubbing of your old place before you leave. And then there’s the daunting task of settling into your new space, which is downright exhausting. But when you add kids to the mix, especially school-aged ones, it becomes a whole different ballgame. Suddenly, you’re not just packing up boxes; you’re also hauling around a hefty load of parental guilt and anxiety.
When my partner, Jake, landed his dream job a seven-hour drive away, we felt we had to take the plunge. But as soon as he accepted the offer, I was consumed by thoughts of how we might be ruining our kids’ lives. I imagined them struggling to adjust, feeling isolated, and eventually becoming unhappy adults who’d trace their issues back to this move. The weight of it all was suffocating. After all, they had no say in this monumental decision.
The choice to relocate was made by Jake and me, the so-called “grown-ups” (most of the time, anyway). In the end, we had to tell our kids, “Hey kiddos! We’re uprooting you, whether you like it or not!” Sure, I’m used to calling the shots on everything from bedtime to nutritious snacks, but this was different. This wasn’t just about “eat your veggies” or “brush your teeth.” It’s tough being a kid when big decisions are made without your input, even if it turns out to be for the best.
Leaving Behind Familiarity
First off, they had to leave their school. I vividly remember stepping into Lincoln Elementary as a nervous parent with a brand-new kindergartener. Fast forward six years, and I walked out with tears streaming down my face after saying goodbye to the wonderful staff who had loved and nurtured my three kids—my eldest all the way through fifth grade. These educators knew my children inside and out, quirks and all. What if the new school was nothing like that? What if they didn’t feel accepted?
Next, they had to say goodbye to their friends. Did I adore every single one of my kids’ pals? Not really. There was that one kid who thought our backyard was a personal restroom and another who introduced my six-year-old to some unsavory language. But no matter my opinions, these were the companions my kids had forged bonds with. They shared countless moments of laughter and mischief. Taking them away from their friends felt like I was snatching a piece of their childhood.
Then there was our neighborhood. We were fortunate to live among great neighbors—people I could count on. My kids knew that if they needed anything, they could rely on the folks next door. Our neighbors were the kind of people who patched them up after bike accidents, took them on nature walks, and slipped them extra candy on Halloween. What if our new neighbors turned out to be the Grinch?
Finally, they had to leave the only home they had ever known. My eldest was just two when we bought our first house, and the other three kids had only ever lived there. It was their sanctuary; a place they could navigate with their eyes closed. Now, they’d have to adjust to waking up in a strange environment—one where I’d be reminding them a thousand times where everything goes.
Finding a New Normal
Surprisingly, the move ended up being much smoother than I had imagined. All my fears were exaggerated and, to my relief, the kids adapted quite well. I had underestimated their resilience. We met with their new teachers and took a tour of their new school. We made it a point to introduce ourselves to the neighbors and utilized technology to help the kids keep in touch with their old friends. They had a blast discovering the nooks and crannies of our new home and exploring the backyard. We took walks, drove around, and engaged with the local library and its various children’s programs.
Yes, they miss our old place—I do too. But I know we’ll create just as many beautiful memories in our new home if we give it a chance. After all, our previous home was once the new kid on the block too. For more insights on navigating parenting challenges, check out this fantastic resource on home insemination.
Summary
Relocating with children is fraught with guilt and anxiety for parents, as they worry about how it will affect their kids. From leaving behind familiar schools and friends to navigating a new neighborhood, the emotional weight can be overwhelming. However, with time and patience, families can adapt and create new memories in their new home.