Every stage of childhood presents its own unique challenges. You navigate the sleepless nights of infancy, muddle through toddler tantrums, and sprint through the whirlwind of early childhood. Just when you think you’ll get a breather, you find yourself in the chaotic world of raising teenagers.
“It’s amazing!” they all claimed. “They’re so independent! They can sleep in! They’re self-sufficient! They even drive themselves to their activities! Plus, their personalities really shine!” Sounds like a dream, right?
Well, not for everyone, including yours truly. If I’m honest, I can’t say I’m enjoying this rollercoaster called adolescence (more accurately described as “hormones on a rampage”). It’s definitely a handful. The teen years come at a time when you thought you’d finally catch a break, but instead, they hit hard and leave you longing for those simpler days. You might have anticipated vibrant discussions and deepening connections, but instead, here you are wishing these years would just breeze by.
And guess what? It’s perfectly okay to not be head over heels for this stage of parenting. Just as some moms dread the sleepless nights with newborns while others cherish them, the same goes for the tumultuous teen years. Some mothers bond deeply with their teenagers, embracing their shifting moods and personalities, while others, like me, do not.
Honestly, the teen years hit me like a freight train. One moment, I was dealing with a sweet child, and the next, it felt like I was living with a rebellious roommate. Those adorable little faces I once knew are now replaced with moody teenagers who seem to have emerged from a college party—complete with messy rooms and strange friends who are somehow now part of my reality.
I hear similar sentiments from friends with teenage daughters: one moment the sweet girl you raised is gone, and in her place is someone channeling a character from a medieval drama. And guess who is stuck playing the role of the devoted servant? Yep, that’s you, mom.
It doesn’t matter if you have a son or a daughter—the teen years are not for the faint of heart. If you find yourself reminiscing about the days when a nap and a lollipop could solve most problems, you’re not alone. Many moms share in this bittersweet experience. It’s okay if the teenage years are not your favorite chapter. I promise you, even if you feel like pulling your hair out, you are still perfectly capable of raising decent teenagers.
I’ve made it through one teenager and am nearly done with another. I’m bracing myself for the adventures ahead with my next two. I refuse to feel guilty for not wanting to snuggle with the moody stranger who has taken over my teen’s personality. Nor will I feel bad if I don’t feel warm and fuzzy watching them inhale pizza without a word of thanks or if I’m met with one-word answers for weeks. The key here is to not take it personally. Your sweet child is still there, hiding beneath the layers of teenage angst. I promise you, they do come back.
Mine re-emerged after a few weeks of college, transforming from “I don’t need you, Mom!” to a young adult who actually appreciated having me around. That reconnection made all the teen turmoil worth it.
For those of you feeling overwhelmed, remember that you’re not alone, and you will get through this stage, even if it’s not your favorite ride in the amusement park of parenting.
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Summary
Parenting teenagers can be a challenging and frustrating experience. It’s okay not to enjoy this stage of life, as every mother has her own preferences and struggles with different phases of childhood. Remember that you are not alone in feeling overwhelmed, and your child will eventually return to a more familiar version of themselves.