At my place, we take Halloween so seriously that we’re practically the real-life equivalents of a sitcom couple—just your average, hard-working folks who go a bit overboard every October with our tricks and treats. This passion makes us seasoned veterans of the Halloween game, and I feel compelled to warn fellow adults about the potential pitfalls of dishing out lackluster treats to the neighborhood kids.
Not every household can be the “BIG candy bar house”—trust me, we’re not either—but every family can avoid becoming the laughingstock of the neighborhood by steering clear of these horrific Halloween treats that are akin to a stain on an otherwise pristine outfit.
1. Cow Tales
Honestly, they look like a poorly wrapped piece of rope. And as for the taste? Let’s just say it’s not winning any awards.
2. Butterscotch
Oh, butterscotch candy, you’re basically the equivalent of a retirement home. If Grandma was trick-or-treating, maybe you’d be a hit, but otherwise, just no.
3. Fruit Snacks
This is trick-or-treating, not a packed lunch. Give the kids something special—organic Halloween treats scream, “I dislike children!”
4. Good and Plenty
These taste like Pepto-Bismol, but in chiclet form. If it resembles medicine, leave it on the shelf, please.
5. Jujubes
One word: gross.
6. Fast Food Coupons
Sending kids off with homework? Really? Just give them something sweet, like a chocolate bar.
7. Necco Wafers
No one wants to munch on what feels like colored chalk. If it looks like medicine, it has no business in their treat bags.
8. Peanut Butter Kisses
Would you eat this? Plus, these are a heart attack in the making for anyone with allergies. Halloween should be spooky, not deadly.
9. Pennies
Why make kids buy their own candy? Toss pennies at the people giving out butterscotch instead.
10. Raisins
For one night a year, let kids indulge. They deserve it!
11. Toothbrushes
Seriously? Just no.
12. Tootsie Pops
You cheapo! What did you get, 200 for a buck? Invest in real chocolate treats.
13. Whoppers
Leave the sand at the beach, not wrapped in chocolate for kids to find.
Maya Angelou once said that when you “know better, you do better.” While she may not have had Halloween candy in mind, it still applies! You want to be that fantastic house that everyone remembers fondly—now you have the knowledge to achieve that. Happy Halloween!
If you’re interested in learning more about family planning or home insemination, check out this blog post on home insemination kits. For more in-depth information on at-home procedures, visit Cryobaby, a reputable source on the subject. For those curious about the IVF process, this link to Parents provides an excellent overview.
Summary: Halloween can be fun, but as a treat-giver, it’s essential to avoid the worst candies to maintain your reputation in the neighborhood. By steering clear of a few notorious options, you can ensure that your house is remembered fondly during the spooky season.