When I was 10 years old, I burst into my aunt’s cozy kitchen, only to overhear a rather dramatic conversation between her and my mom. Both of them looked horrified, shaking their heads as they sipped their black coffee. Curiosity got the best of me, and I leaned in to catch snippets of their chat:
“She’s so inappropriate, dancing in that wedding dress!”
“And those lyrics! I nearly died when I heard them on the radio with the kids. So embarrassing!”
It was 1984, and they were lamenting Madonna’s legendary performance at the MTV Music Awards, singing “Like a Virgin.” Little did I know at that time, Madonna was my absolute favorite artist. With her outrageous hair, iconic ’80s style, and fearless attitude, she was everything I aspired to be. As I listened to my mom and aunt complain about the music of my generation, I couldn’t help but wonder what all the fuss was about.
Back then, I had no clue what “virgin” really meant, and although I belted out the lyrics into my hairbrush every chance I got, it would be years before I grasped the full meaning of that song. To her credit, my mom didn’t stop me from listening to the radio. In a surprising twist, she even tucked a Beastie Boys cassette, Licensed to Ill, into my Easter basket that same year. She let the echoes of music she didn’t approve of seep through my teenage bedroom door.
That’s precisely why I refuse to censor music for my teenagers today.
Our home is always alive with music. We jam during meals, while tackling chores, and even while lounging around. My partner and I love exploring different genres, gravitating mostly towards ’80s tunes and country, but we also appreciate the smooth vibe of jazz and the lyrical brilliance of rap.
At any given moment, the soundtrack of our lives plays on repeat. Yes, some of the lyrics might raise eyebrows. Our kids hear and—gasp—might even sing along to words that would make my mom faint if she heard my 11-year-old belting them out. They know the words to Sir Mix-a-Lot’s “Baby Got Back” and Tone Lōc’s “Wild Thing.” We’ve made unforgettable memories dancing to Madonna’s “Papa Don’t Preach” and Marvin Gaye’s “Let’s Get It On.” My husband and I have even been caught slow dancing in the kitchen to our wedding song, prompting eye-rolls from the kids.
Music weaves through the fabric of our family life, and I’m confident that a few curse words won’t ruin them. When they have questions about song lyrics, I tackle those inquiries honestly. Admittedly, explaining “my anaconda don’t want none unless you’ve got buns, hun” was a tad awkward. But just because the conversation was cringeworthy doesn’t mean I’ll change the station when Sir Mix-a-Lot’s track comes on—after all, it’s a reminder that I don’t have to do those sit-ups. Ahem.
Take the Hamilton: An American Musical soundtrack, for instance. My kids are obsessed with Lin-Manuel Miranda’s lyrical genius and have the soundtrack on repeat. Sure, some lyrics are explicit, but they’ve also sparked a thirst for knowledge about history that I didn’t expect. They light up during history lessons that align with the lyrics they know by heart and burst into giggles whenever King George III is mentioned, thanks to the actor’s hilarious portrayal. Isn’t it worth overlooking a few swear words for a chance to engage with history in such a fun, unique way?
So no, I won’t be the mom gasping at the kitchen table because my kids are singing along to “I Kissed a Girl” by Katy Perry or “Sexy and I Know It” by LMFAO. Instead, I’ll sway my hips while preparing dinner when Robin Thicke croons about “Blurred Lines,” and you can bet I’ll crank up the volume whenever a P!nk song graces the airwaves.
The music our kids enjoy is no more shocking than what I grew up listening to, and I take pride in knowing my children are experiencing the rich culture and diversity that music offers. Even if Sir Mix-a-Lot makes things a bit tricky at times.
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In summary, I firmly believe in allowing my kids to explore music without censorship. It opens up conversations, enriches their understanding of the world, and fosters creativity—all while we create lasting memories together.