I find myself missing the camaraderie of friends, but surprisingly not as intensely as I expected. Sure, I still have friends, but the nature of those relationships has shifted dramatically since the arrival of my two little ones. With kids aged 6 and 3, texting has become my primary form of communication, while phone calls are few and far between. In-person meet-ups? Those are as rare as a snow day in July.
When my second daughter was born, I had grand ideas of playdates and outings, thinking my life would mirror what it was like with just one child. But the reality was quite different. Breastfeeding my newborn was a challenge in any noisy environment, ruling out nursing in restaurants. My friends, who previously invited my eldest and me over, gradually stopped reaching out. Juggling two kids while trying to maintain a semblance of normalcy was tougher than I anticipated.
However, over time, things began to shift. I didn’t notice it at first, but I started taking my kids to lunch and grocery shopping. We ventured outside our home more often than just the family room. Weekends became the time for our major errands, allowing us to tackle the grocery store together as a family.
Somewhere along the way, my daughters forged a bond. Just yesterday, they were sitting side by side, knees touching, whispering secrets about their favorite show while my husband and I watched from the kitchen, grinning at their connection. It’s heartwarming to see how well they play together, despite the age difference. My toddler’s meltdowns over missing her big sister from school have become a regular occurrence.
At some point, having two kids started feeling easier than just one. I can shower now—albeit quickly—without constantly worrying about phantom cries or accidents. My older daughter, with her newfound independence, runs to check on her sister if something goes awry, even if it’s just a “uh oh” moment.
As I navigate the journey of raising my two girls, I’ve grown accustomed to this new normal. The four years I spent with just my eldest feel like a distant, cozy memory now. I cherish these “Mom of Little Kids” years, even though they can be challenging. I remind myself that these moments are fleeting and that I must embrace them while I can.
I recently confided in a stranger at a restaurant, enjoying a meal with my kids, that if I had known how wonderful sibling relationships could be, I might have chosen to have my second child sooner. While I wouldn’t change a thing about my journey, I do treasure the special time I had with my oldest before her sister came along. This spacing also allows me some precious “me time” with my younger daughter before she embarks on her own school adventures.
Yet, it’s important to recognize that my daughters are not my friends. I want them to enjoy my company, and I certainly appreciate theirs, but at the end of the day, I’m the adult here, and I still crave friendships. My time is limited, but I make sure to carve out moments for self-care—whether it’s squeezing in a workout, diving into a good book, or jotting down my thoughts. However, I know that these years with my little ones will pass in the blink of an eye.
Before long, there will be no more diapers in the house, and our sleep will be uninterrupted. Life will fold into a new routine, one where we’re no longer responsible for tiny humans. I don’t want to rush through these years, even if some days I feel like hitting fast forward. I’d rather not choose a phone call over my kids asking me to join them for a puzzle, even if I miss those long chats with friends. In the meantime, let’s keep in touch through texts, holding each other close in spirit.
As I embrace this journey, I’m acutely aware that my “Mommy” years are limited. My oldest has even started calling me “Mom,” and when I asked her why, she just looked at me with that adorable, mischievous grin, as if she knows she’s growing up.
I do miss my friends. My sister is getting married soon, and I’m racking my brain trying to plan a fun bachelorette party around bedtime and their 5 a.m. wake-up calls. I long for those effortless conversations with friends from afar, and the spontaneous movie nights with my husband that never seem to align with our schedules. Yet, I realize I’m not missing out as much as I thought I would.
Somewhere along the line, being a mom has become a fulfilling part of who I am outside of friendships—at least for now.
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Summary:
In this heartfelt reflection, a mother shares her journey of adjusting to life with two young daughters. While she misses the friendships she had before motherhood, she finds fulfillment in her role as a mom. As she navigates the challenges and joys of parenting, she acknowledges that these years are fleeting and precious. Despite the demands of motherhood, she embraces the growth of her children and the unique bond they share, all while recognizing the importance of nurturing her own well-being. Ultimately, she realizes that, for now, being a mom is enough.