I won’t sugarcoat it: I had an absolute blast during my college years. My roommates and I created unforgettable memories at the bars near our campus, and yes, I may have danced on a bar or two—who’s counting, right?
We spent our evenings getting glammed up while blasting ABBA, sharing outfits, and dreaming about running into cute guys. When the clock struck 10 p.m., we’d step out in a cloud of hairspray and perfume, ready to party until the early hours. Somehow, no matter how late we stayed out or how many drinks we had, we always managed to bounce back the next day—usually with greasy diner food as our cure-all.
Ah, those were the days! Fast forward about 20 years, and oh, how things have changed. Now I’m tucked into bed by 10 p.m., and my once-toned body has settled into a softer version of itself. Ladies’ Nights? Not quite the same anymore.
Fortunately, I still keep in touch with my college buddies, and we occasionally manage to escape for a night out. But with four husbands and twelve kids between us, plus full-time jobs, getting all of us together feels like organizing a wedding.
Recently, we hit the town, and boy, were we in for a surprise. Here are some things we noticed that have changed since our glory days:
- Every girl looks like she just graduated middle school. Seriously, flawless skin and those tiny dresses made us feel like the “old” moms in the room. And those heels? No thanks, I’ll stick to my comfy flats. #ICouldBeYourMom #WaitIAm
- Hipster beards are everywhere. I don’t really get it, but hey, it’s a trend. #Lumbersexual
- Good luck hailing a cab. Now you need to fumble with an app on your phone that you can barely see in the dark bar. Seriously, why is it so dim? #IJustWantToGoHomeNow #BringBackTheYellowCab
- The music? Forget about it. I didn’t recognize a single song the DJ played, and I got some serious side-eye when I asked for ABBA’s “Dancing Queen.” #BornInThe70s #FeelTheBeatFromTheTambourine
- Selfies are mandatory. Everyone’s striking duckfaces for the ‘Gram, but I just end up looking like Donald Duck. Let’s be real, no one needs to see that. #Cringeworthy #JustSayNoToDuckface
- Social media overload. Back in my day, a night out was just that—a night out. Now, you have to check in on Facebook, tweet the DJ, and Instagram every moment. I’m so glad Facebook didn’t exist when I was 20. #ExhaustedMom #IDontKnowHowToSnapchat
- Smoking? That’s old news. These days, it’s all about hiding behind phones, with the rare smoker banished to the street corner. #TheMoreYouKnow #SecondhandSmokeKills
- Bartenders have changed, too. They’re no longer trying to impress you and take you home. #TrueStory
- “What time does the bar close?” used to mean we were ready to party until last call. Now, it translates to “How much longer until I can get home and put on my yoga pants?” #LululemonOrBust
It’s safe to say those wild nights are behind me, and honestly, I’m okay with it. I feel more confident in my skin today, and I’m not fussed about wearing sky-high heels. My college self has transformed into a badass woman who’s learned to enjoy life without the hangovers that come with late nights out. If I never have to hold a friend’s hair while she hurls in a dive bar bathroom again, I won’t complain.
If you’re interested in more about parenthood and self-insemination, check out this guide from Make A Mom and visit Resolve for excellent resources on pregnancy and family planning.
Summary
Girls’ nights have evolved dramatically after kids. From the music and atmosphere to the social media pressure, everything feels different. While the carefree days of college may be long gone, embracing this new chapter comes with its own joys and comforts.