I wholeheartedly believe that every child, even those as young as 3 or 4, should receive answers to their endless “why” questions. Sure, it can be a draining, overwhelming, and sometimes just plain irritating experience to engage with each query, but I feel our kiddos deserve responses just like we’d give to any adult.
That’s what logic tells me.
But reality? Well, my heart knows that while I wish I could address every single “why,” I often lack the time, energy, or even the will to tackle them properly. So, when I find myself in a pinch, the phrase “Because I said so” inevitably escapes my lips.
To be honest, I despise saying it. It feels like a cop-out, as if I’m denying my kids the meaningful explanations they deserve. It feels like I’m just trying to get through the day. But let’s be real for a second—sometimes, life just doesn’t allow for elaborate discussions.
Take, for instance, those hectic mornings when we’re scrambling to leave the house. When my little ones ask, “Why do we have to go to the doctor?” I want to explain how doctors keep us healthy and help us grow strong. But with only a few minutes to spare, all I can muster is, “Because I said so. Now hop in the car!”
Or consider bedtime. After a long day, I’ve just completed their drawn-out nighttime routine. As I turn off the light and inch towards the door, I hear, “Mom, why can’t we have snacks in bed?” My brain knows I could elaborate on crumbs, cleanliness, and pesky ants, but it’s way past bedtime. So, “Because I said so” is what comes out as I close the door behind me.
I understand the value of explaining my thoughts and decisions to my kids. I want them to grow up with the same patience I strive to show them. But let’s face it: kids ask a million questions, and some days I just want to pour a glass of wine!
Then there’s the element of parental authority. As the wise character from a popular show once declared, “Respect my authority!” Kids, there’s a time to ask questions and a time to follow directions. If I’ve already told you to do something—or not to do it—then it’s time to listen instead of bombarding me with a flurry of “whys.”
We have a lifetime ahead of us for those discussions, but 30 seconds before school starts is not the opportune moment.
I genuinely hope that as my kids grow, they’ll ask fewer “why” questions, but that the ones they do ask will be more profound—seeking genuine understanding. Questions like “Why can’t I color on the bathroom wall?” will evolve into deeper inquiries, such as “Why does my friend have two dads?”
Ultimately, I aspire to find the time and patience to respond with love and kindness. But for now, my kids, who are 3 and 4, need to grasp that there’s a time for questions and a time to follow Mom’s lead simply because she said so.
For more parenting insights, check out this one of our other blog posts. And if you’re interested in resources about home insemination, consider visiting Make a Mom. The CDC also provides excellent information on fertility and pregnancy at CDC Infertility Information.
Summary:
In the chaos of parenting, the phrase “Because I said so” often serves as a quick response to children’s endless “why” questions. While it’s important to engage with kids and nurture their curiosity, sometimes time constraints demand a straightforward answer. As children grow, the hope is that their inquiries will deepen, allowing for more meaningful conversations. Ultimately, balance is key, as parents navigate the need for authority while fostering understanding.