Updated: Dec. 8, 2023
Originally Published: Dec. 6, 2023
I’ve said it before, and I’ll say it again: Life is fleeting, and I have a limited number of cares to spare. I’ve stopped worrying about what my kids wear and whether my beloved leggings are deemed “appropriate” for my age. Ask me about my non-Pinterest home décor, and I’ll just shrug and say IDGAF. I’ve ditched concerns about trivial matters, including the online kind.
Well, except for Facebook. Because, despite the overwhelming nonsense that requires rubber gloves and a hazmat suit just to log in, I can’t seem to quit it.
There are days when a mere scroll through Facebook feels like it deserves a cleansing shower, a strong drink, or perhaps both. I navigate past the controversial articles and fake news, trying not to gag when friends “like” posts from questionable sources. The cycle of leaving groups filled with overpriced leggings or essential oils that claim to turn back time is relentless—leave group, get added back, leave again. Rinse and repeat.
Your humblebrags might make me slightly nauseous, and those #soblessed posts provoke eye-rolls so intense I nearly faint. And let’s not even start on vague posts about “exciting news” or “prayers needed” without context.
Then there’s the ever-pressing issue of fake news—what the actual heck?
Luckily, there’s a magical button called “unfriend” or “unfollow.” Poof! The drama and nonsense disappear. If a sanctimommy starts a post with “I don’t mean to judge, but…” and then goes on to criticize the mom who dared to feed her kids cheese puffs at the movies? Bye-bye. See ya, offensive “jokes” that are sexist, racist, or homophobic. (Seriously, how were we even friends?)
Every now and then, I find it necessary to purge my feed of the negativity, but here’s the kicker—I just can’t let go of Facebook. Your memes bring genuine laughter, secret groups offer endless procrastination, and I’m connected with friends from all over, even if I can’t hear their voices.
Without Facebook, how would I enjoy all those adorably cheesy holiday snaps and cute cat videos? How would I know you were up all night with a sick toddler, making me feel a smidge better about being awake with my snoring husband? How would I learn about your new kale diet or test my ’80s pop culture IQ (100%, thank you very much!)?
Where else would I get the scoop on Christmas ornaments shaped like vaginas or discover that Girl Scout Cookies are hitting shelves in 2023? These are crucial updates!
Let’s be real: The world can feel pretty bleak at times. News headlines are often a litany of despair. Bills stack up on the counter, and my dogs just had another indoor accident. If it weren’t for the uplifting news of a college buddy’s job promotion or the delightfully awkward video of my cousin’s daughter’s piano recital, I might just lose faith in all things good.
In essence, Facebook is my lifeline, keeping me from completely losing my cool. It also helps me stay relevant and prevents me from becoming that out-of-touch suburban mom. When my son starts jamming to a new song by The Lumineers, I can share it on Facebook and pretend to be the cool mom who’s in the know. When I’m puzzled about what a Hatchimal is, Facebook will inform me—and also remind me I’m behind the curve, as they’re sold out everywhere.
Want advice on time-outs or sleep training? Facebook’s got a plethora of opinions and information, more than I could ever digest.
And let’s not overlook the distraction factor! When my kids are battling with plastic swords and my husband calls to say he’s running late—of course we’re out of chocolate and wine—nothing says “escape” like a little mindless scrolling on Facebook.
So while I’m decluttering my life from negativity and drama, Facebook isn’t one of the things I’m cutting out. Because when all else fails, there’s always a fresh supply of cat videos.
Summary: Despite its challenges, Facebook remains an integral part of life, offering laughter, connection, and a sense of community. While navigating the ups and downs of social media can be exhausting, the joy of sharing moments and staying informed keeps users coming back for more.