I don’t have the luxury of being dragged down by the weight of seasonal affective disorder. As a mom juggling work, holiday preparations, and everything in between, hiding under my blankets isn’t an option. I need to rise and bake cookies, belt out carols, and dive into Pinterest for the most imaginative elf costumes I can muster.
Once daylight savings hits, the cold, dark days usher in a cloud of melancholy that seems to settle in for the long haul. Waking up to a sunless sky turns the morning routine into an uphill battle, reminiscent of trying to teach my headstrong 5-year-old how to tie her shoes. Tackling my to-do list feels as disheartening as seeing Luke Perry gracing the cover of AARP this year. And making it through the day? That feels about as likely as me squeezing back into those designer jeans I held onto since the ’90s.
But the reality is, my kids, the school district, and life itself don’t care if I’d rather avoid adulthood on gloomy days. I still have to wake up, negotiate breakfast choices, and scurry to the bus, waving goodbye to forgotten homework. I need to tough it out even when all I want is to drape myself in a blanket and binge-watch my favorite shows.
Here are a few reasons why seasonal affective disorder can take a hike:
- I have too much on my plate. The holiday season is a whirlwind of tasks that sends my anxiety levels soaring. From sending out cards to baking cookies and playing Santa, I don’t have the bandwidth to feel down before I even start trying to create some holiday magic.
- I can’t be a grumpy mess. My kids shouldn’t have memories of a wild-haired woman losing her marbles in the background. I need to find the balance between my more chaotic side and the serene mom I aspire to be—less Mother Gothel, more Mother Teresa.
- Sunny days are my jam. I can’t afford to only enjoy life when the sun shines. Motherhood is a year-round commitment, and I’m still shocked every evening at 5 PM when I realize it’s my turn to whip up dinner.
- I want to shield my kids from this. I don’t want them to dread the shorter winter days like I do. I aim to model a sense of calm, not be found rocking in the corner with my sunlamp as my only companion.
- I’m the glue. The glue can’t afford to take a break from managing homework, baking for school events, or keeping track of dentist appointments. I must keep things running smoothly.
- Sadness isn’t my default. I genuinely dislike feeling sad. The more I fight it, the worse it seems to get.
- When I’m down, I want to eat everything. With holiday cookies everywhere, this is a recipe for disaster. I don’t have the budget to buy gifts for the family and a new winter wardrobe.
For now, until a miraculous solution for seasonal affective disorder comes along, I’ll make do with my happy lamp, vitamin D, and a little bit of hope for sunshine. And if you see me out in public wearing pajamas on a dreary winter day, let’s just exchange knowing smiles; we’re all in this together.
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In summary, while seasonal affective disorder might try to bring me down, my responsibilities as a mom keep me moving forward. The holidays are a busy time, and I’ll continue to find ways to cope and spread joy, even through the darker days.