In a year that felt like a wild rollercoaster ride, it’s tough to find a silver lining amidst all the chaos, but one thing is clear: the cultural issues we face are impossible to ignore. Just like that bright light an aesthetician uses to spot imperfections during a facial, the glaring issues of sexism and misogyny have been thrust into the public eye. When cases like Brock Turner’s slap-on-the-wrist sentence and our new president’s casual admission of groping women surface, it’s hard not to see the ugly blemishes marring the face of American society.
Recently, I’ve heard an uproar about what these issues mean for our daughters, with mothers lamenting for their girls and fathers expressing shock as “dads of daughters.” While I’ve been nodding along and feeling the outrage, I’ve also been pondering: What does this mean for my husband and me as parents of boys?
As a woman, I know firsthand how systemic sexism permeates our world. I’ve experienced workplace harassment and unsolicited attention more times than I can count. Though I haven’t been a victim of sexual assault, I can list countless friends who have faced this trauma. Yet, as a mother of boys, I refuse to see their gender as the root of the problem. They might not experience misogyny directly, but we’d be foolish to think that sexist stereotypes don’t impact them too. Ignoring this reality would mean we’re only willing to rally against injustice when it affects daughters. The truth is, sexism harms everyone, and it’s essential for all of us to play a part in dismantling the misogynistic narrative woven into the fabric of our culture.
In an insightful piece for the local Times, writer Oliver Greene pointed out that while fathers of daughters may feel a personal stake in this fight, it’s the fathers of sons who hold the power to enact real change against misogyny. He emphasizes the need for fathers to discuss the challenges women have faced throughout history with their sons, and I couldn’t agree more. A loud “Amen!” echoed in my mind as I read his words. We often call out injustices, but we’re not always proactive in seeking change. Yes, it’s vital to be outraged, and believe me, I’m mad as hell. But if all we do is shout, nothing is going to shift. Real change comes from consistent, progressive actions.
Telling boys how to behave is one thing; demonstrating how to be a respectful and kind man is another. It’s easy to preach about ideals, but men must embody them in everyday life. For example, my partner doesn’t just instruct our sons to respect women; he actively shows them how to treat everyone—male and female—with dignity. He praises my accomplishments in front of our boys, celebrates women’s achievements, and teaches them that “no” is a definite answer by immediately stopping any playful wrestling when the word is uttered. He’s not afraid to show emotion and encourages our sons to do the same. He reminds them that it’s not enough to avoid being sexist; they must also challenge it when they encounter it, even if it leads to uncomfortable conversations with friends.
And while my husband is pretty remarkable (if I do say so myself), he’s just one of many fathers raising boys to be compassionate and respectful. Across the nation, there are fantastic dads committed to nurturing feminist sons and breaking the cycle of misogyny. We need to shine a light on these men and recognize the significant impact they have on shaping the behavior of other men, including their sons.
So here’s to all the good and decent dads out there, raising strong daughters and sensitive sons despite a world that often tells them those roles clash. Here’s to the fathers teaching their sons that “no” always means “no,” and that silence can mean “no” too. Here’s to the guys who change diapers without expecting a round of applause, who wear aprons while baking, and who express gratitude for their partners’ efforts. Here’s to those who openly cry and let their sons do the same, who reject the notion of “man up,” and who wear the label of feminist proudly, showing their sons how to embrace it too—not just by claiming the title, but by living the principles of feminism.
Good and decent men, we see you, we appreciate you, and we’re counting on you to help cultivate the next generation of respectful and kind individuals. Together, we can eradicate the ugly, persistent stain of misogyny that affects us all. For more parenting insights, check out our piece on home insemination.
Summary
The article emphasizes the crucial role fathers play in raising their sons to be respectful and kind men in a world rife with sexism and misogyny. It highlights the importance of action over outrage and encourages fathers to model respectful behavior, challenge stereotypes, and engage in meaningful conversations about gender equality. Celebrating all the dads making a difference, the piece calls for collective efforts to foster a future free from misogyny.