“How much longer is she going to do that?” someone inquired about my still-breastfeeding 2-year-old. “Isn’t she a bit too old for that?”
No, but I appreciate your concern.
“She’s still in diapers, huh?” another person commented about my newly turned 3-year-old. “Isn’t that getting a little old?”
Nope, but thanks for your input.
I’ve lost count of how many times I’ve heard people question if a child is too old for certain behaviors—whether it’s using a bottle, sucking on a pacifier, or riding in a stroller. Kids in elementary school who still cling to their security blankets often face raised eyebrows, and then there are the teens who dare to go trick-or-treating, fully costumed, only to be met with disapproval from grumpy grown-ups.
Did I somehow miss the memo that there are age limits for everything?
We seem to have this bizarre belief that there’s a magical cut-off age for specific activities as kids grow. There’s this constant worry that allowing certain behaviors to continue will stunt their development, or that parents are somehow failing if their kids exceed what society deems “normal.”
Of course, a small number of parents might hold their kids back for questionable reasons. And yes, some habits should be phased out within a reasonable timeframe. But here’s the crux: those boundaries aren’t for random strangers or nosy neighbors to dictate.
The truth is, we often don’t know the whole story. The teenager who can’t sleep without her teddy bear? She might be dealing with significant anxiety. The older child riding in the grocery cart could simply be one of those kids who appears much older than they actually are. The pre-teen still believing in Santa might just have a love for imagination. And the 8-year-old who shares a room with her parents? She might come from a culture where that’s perfectly normal.
Sometimes, it’s all about differing priorities and perspectives. My youngest is now 7, and I can barely lift him anymore, so I don’t often carry him. However, I did carry all three of my kids when they got tired until I couldn’t anymore. Some might see that as coddling, but I view it as compassion. If I could carry my partner or my mom when they’re weary, I certainly would. My 16- and 12-year-olds manage to walk without any issue, so it’s not like my carrying them held them back.
None of us have the right to judge what’s best for another child or family. If I spot a kid who seems too old for a certain behavior, I try to remind myself that people have thought the same about my kids without knowing the whole story. Every family, every parent, and every child is unique. Unless there’s a serious health or safety concern, it’s really not my place to form an opinion—or share it, unless asked.
If you see a child who seems too old for something, consider a few questions: Is this child actually being harmed? Are there things I’m unaware of regarding this child or family? Is this even my business? Why does it bother me?
Children learn and develop at their own pace, and in time, they outgrow just about everything. Unless you’re a professional psychologist with a deep understanding of a child’s situation, there’s no reason to judge whether a kid is too old for anything.
You do you, and let other families navigate their own journeys at their own speed. And for more on family and parenting topics, check out our other blog posts at intracervicalinsemination.com. For reliable information on fertility, visit makeamom.com. Additionally, ccrmivf.com provides excellent resources on pregnancy and home insemination.
In summary, it’s essential to recognize that every child develops differently and to avoid imposing arbitrary age limitations on their growth and behaviors. Parents should feel empowered to make choices that are right for their families without fear of judgment.