When it comes to the most wonderful time of the year, some folks seem to juggle every task effortlessly—I, however, am not among them. Believe me, I’ve given it my all. I adore the holidays! If Martha Stewart and Buddy the Elf had a love child, that would be me. I deck the halls, whip up holiday treats, and blast Christmas tunes from Halloween until New Year’s. Who cares if the pitchfork-wielding critics come after me? I do it out of sheer joy.
But over the years, I’ve learned the hard way that trying to do everything can drain the holiday spirit right out of you. So I’ve decided to focus my energy on what truly matters—creating joy for my family. I refuse to stretch myself thin and add stress to our holiday celebrations.
The holidays should be about gratitude and quality time with loved ones, not about joy-sucking obligations. That’s why I’ve introduced some new traditions that let me kick back with a mug of eggnog while binge-watching Hallmark movies, rather than sobbing alone in the bathroom over a tray of burnt cookies.
A few years back, the women in my family made a collective decision to ditch gift-giving. With families expanding and the number of nieces and nephews skyrocketing, it became overwhelming. Instead of scurrying from store to store trying to find the perfect gift, we now spend more time together, often enjoying a dinner out—no cooking or cleaning required. I also host a cookie swap where store-bought treats are totally acceptable, and we indulge in sugar and wine while belting out our rendition of “The 12 Days of Christmas.” Trust me, we give the Rockettes a run for their money! The memories we create are the real gifts.
With the time and money we save from avoiding gift exchanges, we can focus on more meaningful acts. I love taking my kids to the local country store to pick a name from the Angel Tree—this has been our tradition for nearly a decade, teaching them gratitude in a way nothing else can. We also donate holiday meals to the local food bank, send a generous check to St. Jude, and occasionally surprise someone we know with a thoughtful gift. One year, I noticed a sweet waitress at our favorite diner admired a bracelet I wore. I bought her one and eagerly counted down the days until I could surprise her. I barely made it to Thanksgiving before giving it to her!
We’ve also let go of some traditions that felt stressful, like sending out holiday cards. While they may bring joy to others, for me, they felt like an overwhelming chore. And you know what? It’s perfectly fine to change or abandon traditions that no longer resonate with you.
During the holidays, I want to soak in every moment. I want to cruise around in my pajamas with my family, sipping cocoa and admiring Christmas lights. I want to dive into my recipe box, make a delightful mess in the kitchen with my kids, and savor raw cookie dough and frosting—perfectly imperfect creations included! My son’s gingerbread man might look a bit peculiar, but that’s part of the fun.
I love exploring Pinterest for inspiration, even if I never get around to those projects. Sometimes, the excitement lies in dreaming about it all. And while I enjoy a festive gathering, I might skip some to simply relax at home, snuggled next to the Christmas tree, with my kids asleep and dogs at my feet, relishing the quiet moments.
True holiday magic is often subtle. It’s found in the kitchen making family recipes or in the joy of a stranger’s gratitude for a kind gesture. It’s watching my eccentric aunt sing carols with my son, reminding me of my own childhood and the love it brought.
I can’t appreciate the small wonders of the season if I’m racing around trying to acquire more stuff for people who probably don’t need it. I’d rather savor the holidays, enjoying them on my own terms.
Letting go of the less meaningful tasks to prioritize what truly matters is the greatest gift you can give yourself and your family. Trust me on this.