After spending a grueling 18 months trying to conceive my first little one, I can confidently say it was an emotional rollercoaster. Sure, in the grand scheme of life, 18 months isn’t a lifetime, but at the time, it felt like an eternity. When we hit that 18-month milestone, we sought help from a reproductive endocrinologist who put us through a whole battery of tests (and let me tell you, having radiographic dye injected into my fallopian tubes was a real highlight).
As it turned out, my partner, Jake, needed to make a few lifestyle tweaks to boost his sperm count, and voilà, we were pregnant shortly thereafter! However, those months of waiting were filled with stress, jealousy, and heartache, especially as my friends were getting pregnant left and right while I was still waiting for my turn.
One of the toughest parts? The unsolicited advice. It seemed like every person I encountered, from my neighbor’s cousin to the cashier at the grocery store, had a miracle solution. If you know someone struggling with fertility, here are seven things you should avoid saying to them:
- Just Relax.
This well-meaning phrase is practically a cliché at this point. Ironically, the month I finally got pregnant was the most stressful yet. The doctor had just dropped the IVF bomb on us, and relaxation was the last thing on my mind. - Being Pregnant is Awful Anyway.
Sure, pregnancy can be tough (I’ve experienced it twice!), but that’s not the point. For someone longing for a child, even the toughest pregnancy symptoms are a small price to pay. - Maybe You’re Not Meant to Be Parents Right Now.
This argument can sting deeply. Sometimes, biology just doesn’t cooperate, but that doesn’t mean someone isn’t meant to be a parent. Avoid this line of thinking. - This Diet or Supplement Will Do the Trick.
While some lifestyle and dietary changes can help, they should be based on professional advice tailored to the individual’s situation. Random dietary tips do more harm than good. - Maybe You Should Stop Trying.
Along with “just relax,” this suggestion can be infuriating. There’s no evidence that “giving up” leads to pregnancy, so spare your friend the frustration. - I Get Pregnant Just by Breathing!
Seriously? Joking about your easy conception can be hurtful to someone who is struggling. Keep those comments to yourself, please. - You Could Always Adopt.
Adoption is an incredible option and works for many couples, but it’s a deeply personal choice. It’s not something to casually suggest without knowing where someone is in their journey.
Here’s the bottom line: Those grappling with fertility challenges want to be heard. They crave empathy and understanding. Offer them a listening ear and a comforting hug instead of unsolicited advice. You don’t always need to provide solutions—often, it’s best left to professionals who specialize in these matters.
And if you find yourself in the thick of this struggle, know that your feelings of sorrow, disappointment, and uncertainty are completely valid. It’s a tough road, but remember, you are strong, and whatever happens, you will come out okay. If you’re interested in exploring options, check out this insightful resource on donor insemination here.
Summary
Navigating fertility struggles can be incredibly challenging, and while people often want to help, it’s crucial to avoid certain phrases that can unintentionally hurt. Instead, offer empathy and support, and remember that everyone’s journey is unique. For more on conception options, consider visiting this link for additional insights. And if you want to explore some practical tools, check out this at-home insemination kit.