Get ready to slip into your comfy pants and stock up on your favorite beverages—Thanksgiving is upon us! But let’s be real: how much joy can a parent genuinely expect on this chaotic holiday? Sure, there will be brief moments of delight—like football, turkey, and a few glasses of wine. But let’s not forget, your kids will still be picky eaters. Instead of turning down your lovingly prepared dishes, they’ll now have the audacity to snub Aunt Linda’s infamous green bean casserole, leaving her mortified all day long. With cranky, overtired little ones running around—and the anticipation of that annoying Elf on the Shelf creeping in—Thanksgiving can feel a bit absurd. Thankfully, the funny parents of Twitter have plenty to share about this unique form of holiday torture.
- Kids just don’t care.
Amidst a lavish feast, your little ones will still demand their usual favorites. Fire up the Easy Mac, Grandma; they couldn’t care less about your pumpkin pie. - *Facepalm*
Prepare for a side of embarrassment with your turkey this year! If you have a preschooler, expect the whole family to hear about how “mommy and daddy wrestle” on weekends. Stock up on that wine, trust us. - No one needs to know.
It’s the perfect season for pretending you’re a gourmet chef. Slip on a cute apron and no one will question your culinary skills. I’m speaking from experience here. - Drawstrings are life.
Seriously, asking me to wear pants with a zipper on Thanksgiving is as bad as turning down my world-famous Stuffin’ Muffins. Just no. - Mommy’s grateful for vodka.
Honestly, kid—you’re not applying for an Ivy League school. Just write “my iPad” and call it a day. - And wine.
We just really enjoy our wine, that’s all. - For real.
Thanksgiving could easily join the list of activities that were once fun and fulfilling before kids. Now, it’s just a series of complaints. #Blessed. - They’re fibbing.
In the wake of recent events, many of us are bracing for awkward family dinners. “Enjoy” might be too strong a word when you’ve got Uncle Bob spouting off about politics. Again, wine is your friend. - All the way to rock-bottom.
Try not to envy your child-free siblings lounging on the couch watching football while you’re wrestling with a toddler meltdown. Don’t worry, your time to relax will come—someday. - Can’t wait for it.
It’s basically your everyday life, but with longer cooking times and an audience documenting every misstep. So much to be grateful for. - Should’ve clarified.
Honestly, who actually likes cranberry sauce anyway? You’re doing the universe a favor. - It’s gonna take him a while.
This is critical. Definitely give dad a heads-up so you aren’t draining all your data on your phone to escape your family. Happy Thanksgiving, fellow parents!
For more light-hearted takes on parenting, check out this other blog post. And remember, if you’re navigating the world of home insemination, resources like CDC are invaluable, as is Make a Mom for those seeking fertility solutions.
Summary:
Thanksgiving can be a chaotic mix of family, food, and stress for parents, filled with picky eaters, embarrassing moments, and the need for some liquid courage. Through the lens of humor, we navigate the ups and downs of this holiday, reminding ourselves that we’re all in this together.