Let’s face it: some moms just aren’t interested in breastfeeding, and that’s completely their choice. Their reasons are personal, and it’s not my place to judge. Every mother is doing her best, and choosing not to breastfeed doesn’t make anyone less of a parent.
However, many new mothers start their journey with the strong intention to breastfeed but often find themselves falling short of their goals. A study from 2012 in Pediatrics revealed that 85% of moms plan to exclusively breastfeed for at least three months. Fast forward to the actual statistics: the CDC’s 2014 Breastfeeding Report Card showed that while 79% of mothers breastfeed at some point, only 40% manage to breastfeed exclusively by three months, and just 18% do so by six months, despite the Academy of American Pediatrics recommending exclusive breastfeeding for the first half-year.
So, what’s going wrong? Are these moms’ bodies failing them? Are their babies terrible at latching? Does breastfeeding biology just stink? As a lactation consultant and a mom who faced her own challenges while breastfeeding, I can say this: it’s usually not the mother or baby that fails, it’s the support system around them that falls short.
Don’t get me wrong—there are cases where biological issues do exist. Breastfeeding is natural, but that doesn’t mean it’s free of complications. Some women struggle with milk supply, while others deal with babies who have anatomical challenges like tongue ties or cleft palates. However, most of these issues can be managed or remedied with the right help.
The problem is that many new moms don’t know where to find the resources they need. A lot of them can’t afford quality lactation support, or their insurance doesn’t cover it. Plus, many moms simply lack the time to navigate the difficulties that come with breastfeeding. When issues arise, it can take days or even weeks to resolve them, and during that time, many moms don’t get the continuous support they need.
In the hospital, a mom might get a brief visit from a lactation consultant—if she’s lucky. But once she’s home, she faces a different reality. The milk comes in, and she’s engorged. Or maybe her milk is delayed and her baby is fussing. Sore, cracked nipples are common, and that initial enthusiasm can quickly turn into frustration.
Breastfeeding is an art that requires practice and support, and it’s not something a new mom should tackle alone. It takes a village of encouragement, learning, and sometimes expert guidance. Unfortunately, many moms feel overwhelmed and unsupported, leading to early dropouts from breastfeeding.
In some countries, mothers are given the time and community support to learn and adapt to breastfeeding. They have government programs that send aides to help with household tasks and offer breastfeeding assistance. In those places, maternity leave is a given, allowing mothers to focus on their babies without the stress of returning to work just days after giving birth.
So, if you’re a mom who feels like you “failed” at breastfeeding, let me assure you: you didn’t fail. You did your best. You wanted it to work, and you put in the effort. You found ways to nourish your baby, and your bond is just as strong as any breastfeeding mom’s. It’s a shame that you weren’t given the time, resources, and support you truly deserved.
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In summary, the system surrounding breastfeeding often fails mothers, leading to feelings of inadequacy. With the right support and resources, many of these challenges could be overcome, allowing mothers to achieve their breastfeeding goals.