Updated: November 15, 2016
Originally Published: November 9, 2016
I was on a mission to find lasagna noodles, my eyes glued to the shelves, when I accidentally collided carts with another shopper. Laughing, I muttered an apology as I looked up, and the woman smiled back, continuing on her way. I couldn’t help but admire her elegant headscarf—a stunning blue and silver number that I had tried to style many times, yet never quite managed to pull off.
As I roamed the aisles, our paths crossed repeatedly, each time accompanied by those polite smiles we’ve all mastered. You know the ones—the “I’m friendly, but let’s not engage in conversation” smiles. But when I reached the baking aisle, I decided to break the ice.
“I adore your scarf! It’s absolutely gorgeous! I’m jealous of how perfectly you’ve tied it,” I exclaimed. “I always end up looking like a mess when I try.” She looked up, initially surprised, then her face lit up with a radiant smile.
“Oh, it’s super easy!” she replied, her enthusiasm infectious. I admitted my struggles, and she offered, “Let me show you!”
Right there, in the middle of the baking aisle, she began to unwrap her scarf and remove pins, demonstrating step-by-step how to achieve that sleek look. As we laughed, I suddenly felt a twinge of curiosity. “Where are you from?” I asked.
“Egypt,” she answered.
“Are you Muslim?” I inquired next, and her smile faltered, eyes widening with caution as she nodded, “Yes, I am.” In that moment, I was unexpectedly overwhelmed with emotion and my eyes filled with tears.
“I’m so sorry,” I said, my voice quivering. “I’m sorry for all the hate you’ve been hearing. You shouldn’t be judged for who you are. You shouldn’t feel afraid when someone asks you a question.” I wiped away tears and asked if I could hug her.
Surprised, she hesitated for a moment, then nodded, and we embraced. Her name was Amina, and we spent a good while talking about the state of the world, discussing the good and bad in everyone, regardless of their background.
I’ll be honest; this is something I grapple with constantly. I’m just an average mom, trying to raise my kids amid today’s chaos. I worry for their future, fret about our next president, and yes, I won’t sugarcoat it—I’m scared of ISIS. They represent a darkness I find terrifying, with their goal of eradicating those who don’t share their beliefs. But I know they don’t define all Muslims.
Navigating these fears and the threats facing America is no easy task. I believe in the right to bear arms, but I think there should be checks on gun sales. We need to secure our borders while also caring for those in need, particularly our veterans. However, the biggest threat we face might just be letting fear dictate our actions and change our country.
My children are watching closely, learning from my reactions to this scary world. I teach them to stay aware, trust their instincts, and speak up when something seems off. But I also remind them that most people are good. I encourage them not to judge others based on race, religion, or background, and to choose love above all.
Remembering something my friend Jenna once posted online, I turned to Amina and asked, “How do I say it?”
“As-salamu alaykum,” she replied, guiding me on the pronunciation. The words flowed from my mouth into my heart. It’s a common greeting among Muslims, meaning “peace be with you.”
Peace. That’s what we all want, regardless of our faith. We won’t achieve it through fear; we can only attain it through love. Choose love. Love always triumphs.
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Summary:
In a chance encounter at the grocery store, a woman named Amina shares her knowledge on wearing a headscarf with the author, leading to a heartfelt conversation about the complexities of identity, fear, and love in a world filled with division. The author reflects on the importance of teaching children to choose love, regardless of the societal pressures and prejudices that may arise.