Updated: June 29, 2021
Originally Published: November 7, 2016
Let’s get real: I had no clue what “cockblocker” meant until I became a parent. Before that, the closest I came to such interruptions was a poorly timed phone call. But then came marriage and my first child, and suddenly, I was acutely aware of what it meant to have a little one around — especially when it meant my intimate moments were constantly thwarted by cries and requests.
Let’s paint the picture: there we were, my partner and I, trying to rekindle that spark after our first child. Just as we were about to dive into the passionate depths of intimacy, a loud shout of “Mom! Dad!” interrupted us. And there it was, our very own cockblocker, stealing our precious moments of connection. From that point on, I realized our path to romance would be fraught with interruptions, courtesy of our adorable little ones.
Marriage, kids, and life — it’s all one big comedy show! Who knew I’d find myself pleading for just a few uninterrupted minutes? The reality is that this scenario would become a recurring theme in our lives for the next couple of decades. I’m sure you can relate, especially if you’ve ever found yourself in a similar situation. Those little ones sure have a knack for showing up at the worst possible times!
So, there you are, finally settled after a lovely date night, ready to enjoy some private time. But wait! One child needs a drink, another insists on a trip to the bathroom, and just as you think you can finally get comfortable, someone’s fallen off their bike and is knocking on the door — the ultimate cockblocker alert!
Eventually, you come to realize that your home is now filled with your very own set of charming yet relentless cockblockers. It’s time to take charge of your love life! This doesn’t mean you’re neglecting your parenting duties; rather, it signifies that you value your relationship enough to prioritize it even amidst the chaos.
Here’s the truth: your kids will be just fine as you carve out time for intimacy. In fact, prioritizing your relationship can only strengthen your family unit. If you wait for the “perfect moment,” you might find yourself in a nursing home reminiscing about the good old days while an aide interrupts your moment of passion.
Remember, your romance existed long before those little ones came along. Set some guidelines now to ensure your love life stays vibrant. Here are a few rules to consider:
- If the bedroom door is closed and locked, only interrupt for significant emergencies—like a major injury or a surprise visit from Grandma and Grandpa.
- Teach your kids that Mom and Dad need private time to “discuss important matters.” It’s vital to let these “talks” unfold without interruptions. Encourage them to find fun hiding spots elsewhere in the house.
- When it’s bedtime and you say “stay in your room,” that’s what you mean! Only come out for true emergencies. If you do sneak out for water, remember, parents are “sleeping” very soundly.
- Once they become teenagers, just hand them some cash and suggest a long drive for ice cream — preferably to the next town over.
We all know kids change the game completely, but that doesn’t mean couples should stop being passionate. It just requires a bit more creativity and the mental resolve to drown out the noise. So, fight the good fight, parents!
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Summary
In the whirlwind of parenting, maintaining intimacy can feel nearly impossible with kids constantly interrupting. However, it’s crucial for couples to prioritize their relationship amidst the chaos. By establishing clear boundaries and being creative in your romantic endeavors, you can ensure that your love life remains vibrant. Remember, you were a couple long before you became parents, so don’t let those little cockblockers steal away your intimacy!