When the nurse handed me my little one, I distinctly remember gazing up at her in a haze of exhaustion and pain meds, thinking, “She must be mistaken; there’s no way I’m ready for this.” As she briskly left the room, I looked down at my son and wondered, “What on earth do I do now?”
I was completely clueless about parenting. This was evident when I had a mini meltdown in Babies”R”Us as my friend explained how a breast pump works. Leading up to my son’s arrival, I tried to educate myself, but I never found the “I Have No Idea What I’m Doing” guide I so desperately needed.
After an intense C-section recovery and a struggle with postpartum depression, my early months as a mother were bewildering. My body felt foreign, my hormones were all over the place, and my son seemed to change every single day. From growth spurts to diaper rashes, I often questioned whether motherhood was meant for me. It was a nonstop crash course, and let me tell you, I was utterly drained.
Now that my kids are teenagers, I often reflect on those chaotic days and realize there are countless things I wish I could have told my postpartum self. While I wouldn’t want to relive the sleepless nights, painful feedings, or crying marathons, if I had the chance to go back, here’s what I’d say:
- That baby wipe warmer? Total waste of money. Invest in a good nursing bra instead.
- Cheap diapers work just as well as the fancy ones. Use the leftover cash for wine. Trust me.
- It’s perfectly acceptable to skip showers if it means enjoying a hot cup of coffee or a meal with both hands. Embrace ponytails and dry shampoo.
- The first time you have sex post-C-section will make you question everything about your marriage. Just go for it; it gets better.
- Don’t bother trying to remove breast milk stains from your clothes. Buy new outfits instead; you’ve earned it after nourishing a tiny human.
- Your child will not be 18 and still using a pacifier. If he’s 4 and still has it, that’s okay.
- Same goes for potty training. No need to stress; he will figure it out.
- Memorize the scent of your baby’s head. It’s the smell you’ll miss the most as they grow.
- Enjoy the quiet moments with your infant; life gets chaotic before you know it.
- It’s totally fine to tell your toddler that public bathrooms don’t exist. Seriously.
- Embrace being Santa, the Easter Bunny, and the Tooth Fairy. One day, it’ll be bittersweet when they find out the truth.
- You will poop normally again, though you might have an audience for years to come.
- No one will judge you for tossing your kids’ artwork. Just keep the really special stuff.
- That baby’s cry might drive you nuts now, but one day, you’ll look back and long for those moments.
- Buy a cake for their first birthday. No toddler remembers the hours you spent making it perfect. Sleep is more important.
- Go out on as many dates as you can with your partner; you’ll need that connection later.
- Don’t always be the one behind the camera. Have your partner take photos of you with the kids. They’ll want to remember you, not just your hands and hair.
- It’s okay to think your toddler can be a little tyrant. They can be.
- Toddler tantrums are challenging, especially when you’re sober. You will survive, I promise.
- You will find your way back to your career, even if it feels rusty at first.
- Be kind to yourself daily. It’ll help you keep your sanity during tough times.
- No, you can’t return the baby, but it’s fine to feel overwhelmed sometimes.
- Calling your best friend from the closet is a legit coping strategy. Anyone who says otherwise is lying.
- Remember, you grew a human. That makes you incredible. Don’t forget it.
- If you think something is wrong with your child, advocate for them until someone listens. A mom’s intuition is powerful.
- The first poop post-C-section will have you questioning your life choices. Take those stool softeners.
- Feel free to tell anyone who says, “Sleep when the baby sleeps,” to take care of your chores while you’re at it. It’s especially irritating when your baby doesn’t sleep.
- Avoid looking down there in the first few months. Your vagina won’t always look like a horror movie. Curiosity killed the cat, after all.
- You will sleep again, sort of. You’ll feel like a ninja on high alert, but rest will come.
- You will fit into jeans again. They might not be the same size as before (that’s okay!), but you’ll rock them in style.
There are so many moments I’d change or handle differently. I’d urge myself to relax and remember that strict bedtimes only add stress. I’d remind myself that years are long but days are short. The silence of an empty house after the kids leave for school will be something you’ll miss.
Most importantly, I’d pull my new mom self in for a hug and whisper, “You’re doing great.” That’s all I really needed to hear back then.
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Summary
Reflecting on postpartum life reveals a myriad of lessons I’d share with my former self—everything from practical advice on baby gear to emotional support during challenging times. Embracing the chaos and prioritizing self-care is crucial for new mothers navigating the ups and downs of early motherhood.