Some life events are bound to leave a lasting mark on you—starting a new job, tying the knot, becoming a parent, and, of course, potty training your little one. Expect a rollercoaster of emotions, but be warned: the journey to the toilet can be a bumpy ride.
1. You’ll Think It’s Easier Than It Really Is.
“Potty training” sounds so adorable, right? You might assume it would be a breeze—just a few days of asking your child if they need to “go potty,” a couple of minutes on the bathroom floor, maybe some Pull-Ups for nighttime. Sounds simple enough, but in reality, it’s a messy affair (pun intended) that can feel more like a marathon than a stroll in the park.
2. You’ll Spend Just as Much as You Save.
One of the supposed perks of potty training is the end of diaper expenses. Sure, if you calculate 10 diapers a day for one kid, you might fantasize about all the money you’ll save. What will you do with that newfound cash? Treat yourself? Nope! You’ll quickly find yourself trading treats like M&Ms for bathroom success, eventually escalating to new toys or even a trip to an amusement park. Bribery becomes your new best friend.
3. Your Kid Will Mistake Everything for a Toilet.
To toddlers, the concept of a toilet is still a bit abstract. They may understand that they need to “go,” but they might think any container or surface will do. Your suitcase, a measuring cup, a pair of shoes, or even the dog’s bowl could all become candidates for their potty training experiments. Good luck explaining that one!
4. You’ll Start Annoying Yourself.
You might find yourself asking your child if they need to go every few minutes or obsessively scouting out clean public restrooms. And let’s not even talk about the goofy songs you’ll end up singing about potty habits. At some point, you might think, “What am I even doing?!” Here’s hoping you don’t end up posting your toilet-themed rap on social media.
5. You’ll Redefine “Potty Mouth.”
During potty training, your vocabulary will shift dramatically. You’ll find yourself saying “pee-pee” and “poo-poo” so often that your conversations could be broadcast on a radio station—99.9 POOP FM, anyone? Just remember, the world doesn’t need to hear about your kid’s near-misses with the “flushie hole.”
With determination, patience, and perhaps a cocktail or two, you can finally hand over the reins to your child and retire as the “designated tush wiper.” This might be a tedious process, but the finish line is in sight!
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Summary: Potty training is a challenging and often humorous journey filled with unexpected expenses, toddler misunderstandings, and a shift in your everyday language. While it may not go as smoothly as you hoped, with perseverance, you’ll eventually pass the potty baton to your little one.