On October 11, while commuting home, I stumbled upon some thought-provoking posters from PFLAG (Parents, Families, Friends, and Allies of Toronto’s LGBTQ community) plastered around the subway station. They made me reflect on my own coming-out experience and how it has influenced my parenting.
The words on one poster echoed the sentiments I shared with my own parents during my coming out. It was both a daunting and liberating moment—allowing me to be my true self for the first time. When I told my mom, I was a bundle of nerves. What if she didn’t accept me? What if she stopped loving me? As we sat down for dinner, I mustered the courage to say, “Mom, I need to tell you something. Before anything happens, I want you to know who I am. Mom, I’m gay.” Then the floodgates opened, and I cried.
Her immediate response was a warm embrace and the words, “You are my child, and I love you no matter what.” That moment was transformative—leaving the dark confines of the closet for the vibrant light of authenticity.
While my parents ultimately accepted me, it wasn’t without struggle. They sought guidance to navigate their feelings and better understand my journey. As a parent now, I can only imagine the unconditional love and support I’d want to give to my child. It’s unfathomable to me how some parents can’t embrace their children for who they are.
When our son, Leo, was born, we cradled him and shared our hopes and dreams with him. Here’s a letter we penned to him:
Dear Leo,
You’re just a few days old, and your family already loves you to the moon and back! You were a dream come true for Daddy and Papa, and we can hardly believe you’re finally in our arms. Know that our love for you is infinite, and we’ll always stand by you in everything you pursue in life. We strive to protect you and ensure your happiness.
As you grow, we hope you will be brave, kind, and stand up for others. Treat everyone with respect—even those with whom you disagree. Most importantly, just be yourself. Whatever path you choose, we’ll be right behind you, cheering you on every step of the way.
Daddy and Papa will always be here for you, no matter what. Our hearts are overflowing with love for you!
People often say Leo is fortunate to have two loving parents, but we believe we are truly the lucky ones. We’ve been blessed with this incredible boy, and supporting him comes naturally. Our life experiences will guide us in helping him grow into the person he’s meant to be.
Sometimes, I wonder if our LGBTQ identity makes us more empathetic. After all, we’ve spent our lives wanting to fit in, and I feel that if Leo grows up to identify as gay, trans, or even straight (can you believe it?!), we would support him wholeheartedly. It’s sad that many parents struggle to accept their children as they are.
Fortunately, there are numerous support groups and online resources available for those facing challenges with acceptance. If you know someone in need of support, or if you’re a parent looking for guidance, check out PFLAG USA, Advocates for Youth, and other helpful resources like this one for pregnancy information. And if you’re considering home insemination, don’t miss our post about home insemination kits, where you can also explore fertility supplements to boost your chances.
In the end, everyone deserves to feel loved and accepted for who they are, because love is love.