I used to be in the loop about everything my kids were up to, whether they were with me or not. Their tendency to share every little thought is impressive—almost too impressive. It can feel like a marathon of stories, leaving me wondering how many cups of coffee I’ll need to keep up.
But as they grow, that flood of information slows to a trickle, and I’m often met with blank expressions and nonchalant shrugs when I inquire about their day. It’s as if they’ve forgotten the six hours they just spent at school.
This shift was tough for me. It’s not that I cared about the intricate details of Tommy’s lunchtime antics or the exact path back from the library. After spending all day apart, I just wanted a glimpse into their lives. I’ve tried various tactics—some of which might be deemed a bit desperate.
I’ve resorted to bribery. Just a small window into their day would make me feel more connected. It’s not merely my inner control freak at play; it’s the longing to be involved in their lives. I’ve even offered fast food on the way home in exchange for some snippets about their day. This method worked for about a week.
I’ve attempted casual conversation. “What’s new?” usually gets a shoulder shrug. “Anything exciting happen today?” prompts my son to check the hood of his sweatshirt, convinced I meant something literal. “Did you make any new friends today?” is met with confused looks. Even the straightforward, “What was your favorite part of the day?” ends with an eye roll.
I’ve even jokingly threatened to email their teachers. Of course, I’d never really do that; it’s absurd. Yet, I thought that might encourage them to open up. Instead, it just led to more frustration, and they clammed up even more.
Then I decided to take a different approach: I stopped asking altogether. For a week, I didn’t bring up their school day. I thought this absence of questions would lead to curiosity and maybe a spontaneous sharing session at pickup. Spoiler alert: it didn’t. They enjoyed the peace and quiet, and when I resumed my inquiries, they shut down even further.
After many failed attempts, I finally got straight to the point and asked them why they weren’t sharing more about their day. My daughter simply replied, “I just can’t, Mom. I’ve been there all day; I don’t want to think about it when I get home.”
And just like that, it clicked. As much as I crave insight into their worlds, I shouldn’t take it personally when they don’t divulge every detail. It’s not that they’re hiding anything monumental; they just don’t have the energy to recap all six hours of their day.
It’s similar to how I feel after a long day at work—ready to disconnect and not relive the mundane details. The silver lining? When something extraordinary happens, they make sure to share. And when there are bumps in the road, thankfully, their teachers keep me informed.
So while I’d love a deeper glimpse into their lives, I’ll settle for whatever bits they choose to share. If you’re interested in exploring more about family planning, check out this excellent resource on family building options. For those considering home insemination, this post might be a useful read, and you can find more info on cryobaby at home insemination kits too.
Summary:
Navigating conversations with kids about their school day can be challenging as they grow older. Initially, parents hear every detail, but as children get older, they often shut down. Various tactics like bribery, casual conversation, and even threats have been attempted with limited success. Ultimately, understanding that kids may not have the energy to discuss their day helps parents manage expectations and remain connected.