Over the past few years, I’ve observed a troubling trend: a group of naysayers seems intent on ruining our holidays. You might not have noticed, though, as their tactics are quite sneaky…
It all kicks off this time of year, and let me tell you, these party poopers have a particular disdain for the Big Three: Halloween, Thanksgiving, and Christmas. They despise the joy that comes with these celebrations, but more importantly, they can’t stand the indulgence.
We’re often inundated with suggestions like, “Why not munch on the veggie tray?” Excuse me? A veggie platter at a holiday gathering is an affront to all joy-seekers! You could be on a strict cleanse leading up to the party, but if you show up at my gathering, you better come ready to feast.
I, for one, refuse to let these joyless souls win. I envision myself as a modern-day warrior, rallying my troops: “They may take our lives, but they will never take our holidays!”
Sure, I agree some holidays have been taken too far and could use a little moderation. If one more person asks me to make a leprechaun trap on St. Patrick’s Day, I might just lose it. But today, we’re focusing on Halloween.
Do you recall the simpler times? The days before social media transformed everyone into a self-proclaimed expert and crafty genius? Back when Pinterest hadn’t turned our lives upside down? No one was carving spooky fingers out of carrots or making pumpkins out of clementines and celery sticks. And don’t even get me started on those “boo-riffic” bananas!
No, back in the day, we devoured ourselves into a sugary stupor with Butterfingers, ghost-shaped marshmallows, candy corn, and a smorgasbord of deliciously processed treats. Yes, I said processed!
So how do I plan to celebrate Halloween?
I’m going old school. I’m going to teach my kids the ABCs of a successful Halloween. A) Always trick-or-treat in the affluent neighborhoods (obviously). B) Indulge (and then indulge some more). C) Coconut candies are for losers. We’ll focus on the houses that hand out the Costco-sized candy bars (yes, the whole dang thing!) and we’ll egg those who dare offer homemade treats or raisins—seriously, raisins on Halloween should be illegal!
I’ll make sure they choose all my favorite candies when given a choice (a mom’s gotta get her share, right?). We’ll snack on our loot as we roam from house to house because that’s essential for energy. And when we return home, we’ll dump our haul on the floor, count it, and munch some more! I’ll be there to support them through the inevitable sugar crash and to witness them pass out in bed after watching a Halloween movie way past their bedtime. We’re rebels, folks!
Sure, by the next day, we’ll get back to normalcy. I’ll hand out candy in moderation and donate the rest to our doctor’s office. We’ll eat clean and follow the rules. We’ll reintegrate into society.
But it’s just one day, people! One day! And we’re going to celebrate this holiday as it deserves.
Are you with me? And if you want to hear what our real-life parenting pros, Lisa and Tom, think about this, check out their thoughts in this episode of our Home Insemination Kit podcast.
To keep the conversation going, visit our other blog posts for more insights, including this one that you might find interesting. And for an excellent resource on the IVF process, check out this article.
In summary, let’s embrace the fun and indulgence of Halloween without the guilt or judgment. We deserve to enjoy it!