10 Reasons to Slice a Blueberry into Quarters (Curated by a Completely Rational and Educated Mom)

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As a parent, I’ve done my fair share of quirky things, but cutting a blueberry into quarters might just top the list. The other day, while preparing a snack for my 17-month-old daughter, I pulled out some organic blueberries from the fridge. As I removed one from its packaging, I recalled a random piece of advice I once heard: “A blueberry is the size of a toddler’s throat.” This absurd notion led me to slice that blueberry in half, only to ponder if those halves were still too large.

In a moment of sheer silliness, I cut the halves into quarters, causing me to burst into laughter as I looked at the tiny pieces. Even my daughter couldn’t help but giggle from her high chair. To save face, I decided to compile a list of perfectly sane reasons for quartering a blueberry—nothing to do with the idea that it might get lodged in my little one’s throat (who, by the way, has a tendency to swallow a quarter of a banana whole).

1. It’s excellent practice for when you have to perfectly slice peanut-butter-and-jelly sandwiches into quarters.
2. All other fruits get chopped up; you don’t want the blueberry to feel neglected or bullied by the melon gang.
3. You need to reveal the blueberry’s true color, which is surprisingly green inside.
4. Someday, you may need to perform delicate surgery on your child’s first pet fish, and blueberries are a good size for practice.
5. You wouldn’t want the dog to choke on a half blueberry tossed overboard during one of your toddler’s unpredictable tantrums.
6. Some blueberries are rumored to contain fortunes. (No joke.)
7. You never know if the Very Hungry Caterpillar is taking refuge inside, and it would be tragic if your child accidentally bit into him.
8. Tiny gnomes in your pantry might want to use it for a soccer game in the cereal box.
9. Blueberry juice is said to have knife-sharpening properties. (Seriously.)
10. Two hands, two feet—do the math!

Feel free to reference this list anytime you need an excuse to cut a blueberry, royalty free. You’re welcome! For more parenting insights, be sure to check out our other posts, like the one on cervical insemination techniques here. If you’re considering home insemination, a reputable online retailer like Make A Mom offers great options for at-home syringe kits. Also, don’t forget to visit CDC’s pregnancy resource page for valuable information.

In summary, while cutting a blueberry into quarters may seem ridiculous at first, there are plenty of playful reasons behind this quirky habit. After all, parenting is about embracing the absurdities, right?