When I received my diagnosis of postpartum depression and anxiety following the arrival of my third child, it felt daunting. It’s a heavy label, and the stories of women who have tragically taken their lives due to this struggle are indeed chilling. My partner, Mark, was understandably frightened — no, he was completely terrified. He was aware I was undergoing therapy and starting medication, yet he felt helpless. How could he assist when faced with such a formidable challenge?
As we journeyed through this together, it became clear that a spouse can offer significant support to their partner battling postpartum depression. Although the path is not easy, it is possible to help your loved one navigate this difficult time.
Validate Her Emotions
It’s crucial to acknowledge her feelings. She can’t simply will away the painful thoughts that accompany postpartum depression. These feelings can be brutally convincing, telling her she is unworthy or incapable. Instead of dismissing her feelings with platitudes like “That’s not true,” try saying, “I’m so sorry you’re feeling this way. That sounds incredibly painful.” Validation can create a sense of safety and support for her.
Trust Her Therapist’s Guidance
Avoid second-guessing the treatment options she’s exploring. Unless you genuinely suspect her therapist is unqualified, trust their expertise. If you’re curious, ask if you can join a therapy session to understand her treatment plan better. Communication is key!
Assist with Medication Decisions
If she’s on medication, help her navigate breastfeeding compatibility. Some meds are okay while nursing, others aren’t. Research together and support her decision, whatever it may be. I opted to nurse while on medication, and I appreciated that Mark never questioned my choice.
Skip the Daily Pill Check
Asking, “Did you take your pills today?” can feel condescending and accusatory. Instead, suggest a pill organizer or set reminders on her phone. This gentle approach allows her to manage her medication without feeling judged.
Encourage Rest
She needs sleep to recuperate. Taking charge of the baby or other children for a while can be incredibly beneficial. A few hours of restorative sleep can work wonders for her mental health.
Take Over Meal Prep
Cooking often falls on her shoulders, adding to her stress. Instead, whip up a meal for her. It doesn’t need to be gourmet; wholesome food can aid her recovery. By handling dinner, you relieve her of a significant stressor, allowing her more time to focus on healing.
Ease Screen Time Rules for Older Kids
Letting the older kids watch a bit more TV won’t hurt them. It can give both you and your partner a much-needed break. Pop the baby in the bassinet and turn on a fun movie for the kids — it’s a win-win situation.
Remember Date Nights
Even if she’s feeling low about herself, it’s essential to carve out couple time. Whether it’s a quick dinner or a coffee run, getting out together can help rekindle your connection. Yes, you might have to persuade her to leave the house, but it’s worth it!
Use a Baby Carrier
Invest in a comfortable baby carrier. Not only does it keep the little one snug and content, but it also frees up some of your time to tackle chores or just enjoy a little downtime.
Consider Hiring Help
While you may not need a cleaning service every day, having someone come in weekly can lift a tremendous burden. A tidy home can boost her spirits immensely, allowing more focus on recovery.
Your Role is Critical
As a partner of someone dealing with postpartum depression and anxiety, your support is invaluable — both emotionally and physically. Remember to take care of yourself, too. You can’t pour from an empty cup! Seek help when needed, and recognize that this journey can be exhausting for the entire family.
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Summary:
Supporting a partner with postpartum depression and anxiety involves validating their feelings, trusting their therapist, helping with medication decisions, encouraging rest, and relieving stressors like cooking and cleaning. Remember to prioritize your own well-being while providing the necessary support.