Oct. 26, 2023
Becoming a mom for the first time can feel like being thrown into a whirlwind of advice, tips, and a parade of stories from everyone around you. After thirteen years of navigating this journey, I’ve unearthed some universal truths that extend far beyond the usual wisdom of getting your child to eat, sleep, or master potty training. Some lessons have been tough; there have been moments when I had to check my pride at the door. I’ve had days when I ignored that nagging feeling telling me something wasn’t quite right for me and my family, simply because it was the popular choice. There are essential insights that every mother should carry in her heart and mind that go beyond the typical guidance.
Recognizing Your Needs
Every mom should recognize when it’s time to dig deeper into her own needs, and when it’s okay to sneak away for a moment of solitude—whether it’s locking herself in the bathroom or taking a quick drive alone. Taking a break isn’t a sign of weakness; it’s a testament to her strength and self-awareness.
Understanding Challenges
Every mom should understand that there will be times when her child screams, cries, and has tantrums, and no amount of soothing will help. It’s all going to be okay, and it doesn’t mean she’s failing as a mom.
Accepting Reality
Every mom should realize that it’s perfectly normal not to enjoy every single moment of motherhood. If she finds herself counting down the minutes until bedtime, that doesn’t make her a bad person.
Feeling Not Alone
Every mom should know she’s not alone in this chaotic journey. It’s an adjustment period, and everyone—yes, everyone—faces challenges, even if they don’t always admit it.
Embracing Change
Every mom should embrace the fact that it’s okay to change her mind about her birthing plans, feeding methods, or routines for putting her baby to sleep.
Giving Permission
Every mom should give herself permission to slow down, to say no, and to recognize when she has reached her limit. She should let go of anything that doesn’t nourish her or her family.
Acknowledging Power
Every mom should acknowledge her own power to alter her circumstances if she feels the need to do so, and she should make those changes without needing to justify herself.
Facing Judgment
Every mom should expect to face judgment and criticism regardless of her choices, but she should press on, trusting her instincts about what works for her family.
Remembering Self-Worth
Every mom should remember she is enough; she matters, and it’s important to treat herself well. Sometimes, putting her needs first is essential.
Enduring Tough Days
Every mom should know that she will endure tough days—those exhausting days that drain her completely—but she needs to remind herself that not every day will feel this way.
Respecting Differences
Every mom should recognize that just because someone is doing things differently doesn’t mean they are doing it better. She doesn’t have to heed advice, even if she sought it.
Listening to Inner Voice
Every mom should pay attention to her inner voice, the one that warns her to steer clear of certain situations or people.
Accepting Mistakes
Every mom should accept that she will make mistakes, yet her children will continue to love her just the same.
Asking for Help
Every mom should feel free to ask for help when she needs it. And if the first request doesn’t yield results, she should keep asking until she gets the support she deserves.
Bracing for Long Nights
Every mom should brace herself for long nights, whether it’s her baby keeping her awake or her own racing thoughts.
Coping with Regret
Every mom should learn how to cope with feelings of regret and inadequacy, as these emotions are bound to arise from time to time.
Cultivating Patience
Every mom should cultivate a new sense of patience—not just with her children, but with herself.
The Journey of Motherhood
Above all, every mom should know that motherhood will be the most daunting and rewarding adventure she will ever embark upon.
Self-care is vital; without it, everything else might crumble. And most importantly, through her children’s eyes, she is perfect. She is their world. Even on days when she feels like she’s failing, she is still enough. Even when it seems like everyone else has it figured out while she’s in a fog, she will find her way. And it will always, always be enough. For more on this topic, check out our post here for additional insights.
For a deeper dive into pregnancy resources, visit March of Dimes, which is an excellent resource for navigating this journey.
Summary
Motherhood can be overwhelming, filled with pressure, advice, and expectations. However, it’s essential for every new mom to embrace her own journey, understand that it’s okay to take breaks, and acknowledge that not every moment will be enjoyable. It’s a learning experience, and support is crucial. In the end, every mom is perfect in her children’s eyes, and she should always put her well-being first.