Moving is a hassle at any age. You’re left sorting through an avalanche of stuff you forgot you had, wondering how it all accumulated. You pack, tape, and wrap your fragile items in whatever is handy, all while lugging, hauling, and possibly injuring yourself with a few smashed fingers and broken nails. Then there’s the cleaning of the old place, followed by the long, tedious process of settling in to the new digs. It’s exhausting. But throw kids into the mix, especially school-aged ones, and now you’ve got a whole new level of chaos and the heaviest burden of all: parental guilt.
When my partner, Jake, was offered the chance of a lifetime at a job seven hours away, we couldn’t say no. But as soon as he accepted, I was a bundle of nerves, fretting about the myriad ways we might be ruining our kids’ lives. I pictured them struggling to adjust, feeling isolated and lonely, and as adults, looking back at our move as the moment everything went south. It’s not like they had any say in the matter.
Sure, Jake and I made the decision as the “grown-ups” (most of the time, anyway) and told the kids, “Guess what, kiddos? We’re uprooting your lives!” Normally, I’m fine with calling the shots, but this felt different. It was way more significant than “clean your room” or “finish your veggies.” Can you imagine being a kid and having no voice in such a big decision?
Leaving Behind Familiarity
First off, they had to leave their school. I remember the first day I stepped into Maplewood Elementary as a nervous parent. Fast forward six years, and I found myself tearfully saying goodbye to the teachers and staff who had showered my three kids with love and support. These were the people who had known them inside out, quirks and all. What if their new school was a nightmare? All they’d be known for was being the new kids.
Then there were the friends. Did I adore every one of their buddies? Not really. There was the kid who once turned my backyard into a toilet and the one who taught my 6-year-old some, let’s say, colorful language. But, regardless of my opinions, those were the pals my kids had bonded with, creating countless memories together. Now I was ripping them away from their crew and tossing them into a sea of strangers.
And let’s not forget about our neighborhood. We were fortunate to have good neighbors, people I trusted implicitly. My kids knew they could count on anyone on our street for help. They had a community that watched out for them, and I worried about what awaited us in the new place. What if our new neighbors were grumpy or unfriendly?
Lastly, they had to leave our home, the only place they’d ever known. My oldest was just a toddler when we moved in, and my other kids had never experienced life anywhere else. This was their haven, the place they could navigate even with their eyes closed. Now, they’d wake up in a foreign home, and I’d be the one reminding them where everything went for what felt like the thousandth time.
Surprising Resilience
Surprisingly, the move turned out much smoother than my overactive imagination had predicted. All the fears I harbored were wildly exaggerated, and kids can be surprisingly resilient. We met their new teachers and gave them a tour of the school. We introduced ourselves to our new neighbors and used technology to keep the kids connected with their old friends. They enjoyed exploring every corner of our new house and backyard, while we ventured into our new community, quickly getting involved with the local library and its kid-friendly programs.
Sure, they miss our old neighborhood — I do too — but I’m confident that we’ll make just as many memories here, given a little time. After all, our previous home was once new too.
Resources for Families
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Summary
Moving can be a huge source of stress and guilt for parents, particularly when children are involved. The worry about how a relocation might impact their lives can create anxiety, especially regarding changes in schools, friendships, and neighborhoods. However, with time and effort, families can adapt and create new memories in their new environments, often surprising themselves with their resilience.