Updated: Dec. 12, 2023
Originally Published: Oct. 24, 2016
Sometimes, I wonder if I’m the worst friend ever. Not because I’m inherently a bad person or mean-spirited, but because when life throws a tantrum, I tend to retreat. I crawl into a cave, huddle under a rock, and wait for the drama to blow over. I go radio silent—texts, calls, Facebook messages, even the smoke signals are ignored; it’s a complete blackout.
I retreat because it’s my way of coping. When the chaos of life gets too overwhelming, I can’t hear the supportive voices around me. I need a serene spot in my mind to recharge and sift through the clutter surrounding me.
This pattern of hiding has strained several friendships throughout the years. Friends reach out repeatedly, yet I remain unresponsive. They might feel neglected, but the truth is, I’m in self-preservation mode. If they throw in the towel before I come out of my emotional cocoon, I miss the chance to explain my absence. It’s disheartening to think of the friendships that have faded simply because I chose to withdraw into my shell when times got tough.
We all have our unique ways of dealing with life’s curveballs. Some folks go on shopping sprees or binge-watch their favorite shows, while others overshare their problems with anyone who’ll listen. And then there are those of us who resemble a hermit crab, retreating until we feel ready to face the world again. We’re all quirky and diverse, navigating life’s ups and downs in our own ways.
So, I implore you not to give up on friends who seem to vanish. If someone you care about stops responding or goes quiet, keep reaching out. If they seem to have dropped off the social media map, please don’t take it personally. They might be distancing themselves, but it’s not about you. They need your friendship now more than ever, especially when they finally emerge from their emotional burrow.
Life can be downright challenging. Mental health struggles like anxiety or depression can warp how your loved ones perceive their worth. As they grapple with their issues, they often lack the mental bandwidth to maintain friendships. Marital troubles, family drama, significant life changes, or parenting hurdles can all pull someone away from their social circle. When life gets bumpy, some of us, like me, shut the windows and focus on taking it one day at a time.
It’s not your fault; it’s their struggle. They need you to keep reaching out, reminding them they’re not alone—even when they lack the energy to say so. They must feel that when the clouds lift, they have someone waiting for them, ready to offer unconditional support.
True friends stand by each other, whether they chat every day or haven’t connected in weeks. If you love someone, stick by their side, even if they’re avoiding eye contact. Your outreach matters; they’ll appreciate knowing you’re there for them when they’re ready to talk.
For those of us who pull back in tough times, the knowledge of unwavering friendship gives us the strength to push through our challenges. We are grateful for your patience and understanding.
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In summary, it’s important to remember that everyone copes differently. When friends go quiet, they might just need some time to recharge. Don’t take it personally; your support can make a world of difference.