Ah, the blissful days of being a first-time parent. I was everywhere — and I mean everywhere. School plays? Check. Baseball games? Check. Soccer matches? You bet. Muffins with mom? Yup! I was the omnipresent parent, juggling nap times, meals, and my own sanity just to make sure I didn’t miss a single moment. Why? Because society had me convinced that a “good” parent never misses a thing.
What kind of parent wouldn’t show up for every single event? Even when I hadn’t showered in days, was on the verge of a work deadline, or simply needed a moment to breathe, I pushed through. Kids always come first, right? It felt like an unspoken rule.
Then reality hit me like a ton of bricks after I had a couple more kids. Suddenly, it wasn’t just about me anymore. With multiple schedules to juggle, I couldn’t be at every event. And guess what? The world didn’t end! My kids still managed to play their games and perform their routines, even without me cheering proudly from the sidelines.
Did I feel guilty? Absolutely! For years, I convinced myself that missing out on events equated to parenting failure. But here’s the truth: not being at every single thing doesn’t make you a bad parent. Life happens, and sometimes, it’s simply unavoidable.
Here’s a little secret: you don’t have to sacrifice your well-being for the sake of being present. Your children don’t need a worn-out and resentful parent who’s drained from trying to keep up with every activity.
I’ve missed plenty of events, and I’ve learned to accept it. I’ve also made it clear to my kids that when I miss something, it’s not because I don’t want to be there. Life has its limitations, and with a busy family, I’ve come to terms with the fact that I can’t be everywhere at once. Kids are more understanding than we give them credit for.
So, if you can’t be there for everything, who can? That’s where your village comes into play. You know, the one we all talk about but sometimes forget to engage with. When I finally admitted I needed help, I reached out to my fellow moms. “Hey, I can’t make it to the soccer game today. Can you take my son?” The response was always positive. People love to help; you just need to ask. And in return, you offer the same support. “If you need to miss a game, I’ll take your kid and cheer loudly!” I’ve done this for years, and not once has anyone turned down the offer.
Every mom I know has needed a break at some point, and if it happens during a kid’s event, let’s not shame her for it. This is the perfect opportunity to step up and lend a hand because trust me, you’ll want someone to do the same for you one day.
If you’re interested in learning more about home insemination, check out this post. Plus, for anyone looking for reliable information on at-home kits, Make A Mom is a fantastic resource. And for those considering IVF, you can find excellent information at UCSF.
In summary, it’s completely normal not to be able to attend every single one of your kids’ activities. Life is busy and unpredictable, and your kids will understand. Build your village, ask for help when you need it, and remember: you’re not alone in this parenting journey.