Last Friday, like many Americans, I found myself reeling from the leaked tapes of Donald Trump, feeling a mix of shock and disgust. I was so unsettled that I had trouble sleeping that night, and the thoughts just kept swirling in my mind over the weekend — it was like watching a train wreck in slow motion, I just couldn’t look away.
As a woman, I reflected on my own experiences of harassment and unwanted advances, realizing that I wasn’t alone; countless women shared similar stories. It struck me how concerning it is that someone so vulgar and misogynistic could be so close to the presidency. I was appalled at how many people supported him, dismissing his words as mere “locker room talk” — what he described was outright sexual assault.
My partner and I spent the weekend venting about it, opting for code words when our kids were around to shield them from the vile language. But my 9-year-old was curious. He had been following the election closely and had already concluded that Donald Trump is a racist, homophobic, xenophobic bully. I realized it was essential to bring him up to speed, not only to nurture his interest in politics but also because, as repulsive as it all is, he needs to be aware of this reality.
That evening, I explained the situation to him. I didn’t use Trump’s explicit terms, but I did mention that he had used some extremely derogatory words for women and had talked about exploiting his power to take advantage of them. I even mentioned, in a straightforward manner, that he had suggested grabbing women by their private parts. My son didn’t need the exact language to be shocked; his first reaction was, “Really?” followed by, “Did he get in trouble for it?”
I struggled to answer that question entirely; while Trump was losing some political support, there wasn’t much that could be done unless there was proof of actual misconduct. When he asked if Trump was still running for president, I had to deliver the unfortunate truth: yes, he still was.
The difficulty of explaining it all led to a meaningful discussion. We talked about how unacceptable it is for someone in a position of power to behave this way and what we can learn from it. During our conversation, I felt a glimmer of hope that perhaps something positive could emerge from this whole debacle.
We had an engaging dialogue that confirmed the lessons I’ve been teaching him over the years about body autonomy, respect, and standing up against bullying. It also opened the door for some other important but uncomfortable topics.
Reasons to Discuss Tough Topics with Your Kids
So, for parents who are hesitant about discussing the Trump tapes or any tough moments in this election (and trust me, there will be more), here are a few compelling reasons to broach the subject with your kids:
- Kids Need to Hear It from Us First: It’s vital they hear the truth from us rather than a distorted version from peers. Children are like sponges; they soak up everything, and if they learn about it from another kid, the details could be twisted into something alarming.
- Understanding Bullies and Consequences: Trump exemplifies what happens when a bully grows up without being held accountable. If he had faced criticism earlier in life, perhaps he wouldn’t have advanced this far (wishful thinking, I know!).
- Dangers of the “Boys Will Be Boys” Mentality: I explained how Trump rationalized his actions as typical behavior for guys. We discussed how this excuse is unacceptable, highlighting that even in elementary school, we see this kind of mentality — and why it’s crucial to reject it.
- Teach Body Autonomy: Conversations about personal boundaries are uncomfortable, but necessary. I’ve always communicated to my kids that only a parent or doctor should touch their private parts — and only for necessary reasons. They also need to know that they have the right to say no to hugs or kisses.
- Open Communication: It’s essential for our kids to feel they can approach us with any questions, even about taboo topics. I want them to know that nothing is off-limits, no matter how outrageous it may seem. They can always share anything that makes them uncomfortable, and I will take them seriously.
The day after our talk, I asked my son if he thought it was a good idea for me to discuss this with him. “Yeah,” he replied, somewhat nonchalantly. When I asked him to elaborate, he nailed it: “So that I will know what not to do.”
So, thanks, Donald Trump, for being such a stellar example of what not to be. Let’s hope parents everywhere take this opportunity to teach their kids about the unacceptable aspects of humanity and inspire them to be the complete opposite.
For more insights on navigating tricky conversations, you might find this article on intrauterine insemination helpful, or explore this guide for at-home insemination kits. And if you’re looking for tips on fostering healthy conversations, check out this post.
Summary
Discussing difficult subjects with our kids, especially regarding figures like Donald Trump, is crucial. It helps children understand real-world issues, reject harmful mentalities, and encourages open dialogue about personal boundaries and respect.