When I reminisce about my breastfeeding journey, a flood of memories washes over me: the late-night snuggles with my son, the relentless beeping of my pump echoing through the house, and the awkward moments with a nursing pillow strapped around my waist like I was a vintage concession stand worker. And let’s not forget the cringe-worthy story from a fellow mom about how her baby bit off part of her nipple – yikes!
Before diving deeper, let me introduce myself. I’m a mother of two and a clinical psychologist specializing in cognitive behavioral therapy (CBT) for stress and anxiety. A significant portion of my practice revolves around helping mothers navigate the overwhelming pressures of parenting. Unsurprisingly, breastfeeding tends to be a major stressor for new moms. Here’s a quick rundown of the common narratives I encounter:
- A mom desperately tries to breastfeed, but for valid reasons (like her baby refusing to latch or needing to return to her antidepressants), it simply doesn’t work out. Guilt and anxiety about formula feeding creep in.
- Another mom opts not to breastfeed for equally valid reasons (maybe she wants her body back or lacks the time to pump at work), only to feel shame about her decision. The disapproving looks or comments (“You’re formula feeding? Oh.”) don’t help.
- Then there’s the mom who manages to breastfeed but is riddled with anxiety. She worries if her baby is getting enough milk or if she’s doing it “right,” endlessly searching through breastfeeding books for the magic technique that will ease her mind.
Now, back to that unsettling nipple-biting story. When my older son was just 10 weeks old, I attended a breastfeeding support group. As each mother shared her experiences, I mostly tuned out until I heard a woman recount how her baby bit off part of her nipple. Yet, she persevered. I couldn’t help but wonder: how committed was she? Meanwhile, I was nursing, but honestly, I didn’t find it enjoyable; it felt like a ball and chain. Sometimes I even fantasized about an escape plan (like, say, if my son bit my nipple off).
This led to some serious self-reflection. Certainly, I respected her dedication, but I realized our values were different. I believed in breastfeeding, but I couldn’t relate to sacrificing my well-being for it. I understood that I had no right to judge her choices, as our experiences were completely different.
When I talk to my patients about breastfeeding, I emphasize a critical point: your experience is uniquely yours. No one has the same body, baby, or family dynamics as you. While breastfeeding is widely endorsed by medical professionals, they aren’t living your story. Would they still recommend nursing to a mother battling severe postpartum depression who needed medication to care for her baby? Should they judge a mom who couldn’t find a way to integrate nursing into her busy life?
Your breastfeeding journey should be yours alone. Don’t let others dictate how you should go about it. Most importantly, trust yourself to make the right choices for you and your baby. For more insights on related topics, check out this informative post on intracervical insemination or learn more at Make A Mom. Additionally, Progyny offers excellent resources for pregnancy and home insemination.
In summary, every mother’s breastfeeding experience is distinct, shaped by individual circumstances, feelings, and choices. Instead of succumbing to societal pressures or guilt, embrace your journey and trust your instincts.