Fairness. It’s that pesky concept that fuels sibling rivalry and ignites almost every argument in my house. Just hearing the word makes my skin crawl, yet my kids can’t seem to stop dissecting the idea of fairness, often to the point of exhaustion.
“She has more cookies than me! It’s soooo unfair!”
“He’s just a smidge closer to the TV—totally not fair!”
“Why does she look like she’s having more fun than me right now? This is not fair!”
From treats to iPad time, birthday invites, and even the number of Cheerios in their bowls, my children seem to operate under the mistaken belief that life is inherently fair. But how did this misconception take root? I don’t think I ever explicitly told them, “Hey kids, everything in life will be perfectly equal, so let us know if we’re failing at this parental gig.” I’m pretty sure those words never left my mouth.
So, in a bid to avoid raising self-centered individuals, we’re slowly and painfully teaching them that the world isn’t fair. They won’t find fairness in school, their future jobs, or even in friendships—and we want them to be ready for that reality instead of feeling blindsided.
Here are ten ways life is going to throw them curveballs:
- Grades won’t always reflect effort. Some kids will coast by with minimal effort, while others who work their tails off may struggle. That’s just how life rolls.
- They won’t always win. Sometimes they’ll lose when they feel they should have come out on top. Breaking this news early may help them get back up and keep trying.
- Not everyone will like them. No matter how hard they try, there will always be someone who just doesn’t click with them. They need to learn to move past that.
- Fitting in is tough. They may yearn to be part of a certain crowd or team but will face rejection. It’s painful, but it’s part of life, and they will come through it stronger.
- Jobs aren’t always earned. It’s a harsh reality that sometimes people get opportunities they don’t deserve. Life is consistently unfair that way.
- Bullies will exist. Unfortunately, they may encounter bullies who seem to get their way. It’s crucial that they understand how to deal with this head-on.
- They might get sick at the worst times. Like the first day of a long-awaited vacation. It’s bound to happen at least once!
- Hearts will get broken. Someone will come along who doesn’t appreciate them, and that’s going to hurt.
- Failure is part of striving. They might pour their heart into something and still come up short—hopefully, it’ll happen frequently as they learn to adapt and grow.
- Yes, sometimes a sibling will get the bigger scoop of ice cream. It’s a small but mighty injustice they’ll have to navigate.
We’re teaching our kids that life will hit them with some hard truths, and it will often feel completely unfair. Our goal is to prepare them for the challenges ahead, so when those moments of unfairness catch them off guard, they can face them head-on without relying on us to fix everything. Because honestly, I can barely manage the Cheerios situation in this house.
For more insights on parenting and navigating life’s challenges, check out our other posts, such as this one on home insemination kits. And for a deeper dive into the topic, visit Make a Mom for an authoritative source, or explore UCSF’s resource center for comprehensive information on pregnancy and home insemination.
Summary:
In an effort to raise empathetic and resilient children, I’m teaching my kids that life isn’t always fair. They will face challenges, rejection, and heartbreak, and it’s crucial they learn how to navigate these realities. By preparing them for the unfairness of the world, I hope to equip them with the tools they need to face life’s difficulties head-on.