The other day, I had one of those moments as a parent that felt almost surreal. My kids and I were gathered around the kitchen table, nibbling on graham crackers while the news droned on in the background. Suddenly, my little ones began to hit each other. Now, breaking up sibling brawls is standard operating procedure for me as a mom of two rambunctious boys. “Hey, no hitting!” I called out from across the table. “We don’t hit our brothers!”
Just then, Donald Trump’s voice crackled through the radio: “I was gonna hit this guy so hard, his head would spin,” he boasted about a speaker from the Democratic National Convention. I quickly turned off the radio, not wanting my attempts to foster brotherly love to be drowned out by such rhetoric.
This is what parenting looks like in the Trump era — trying to instill values of kindness and respect while witnessing a leading public figure, a presidential candidate no less, model the exact opposite behavior. It’s not the first time I’ve faced this challenge. I remind my boys not to call each other names, yet one of the candidates running for the highest office in the land has spent the campaign hurling insults and nicknames at his opponents, from “Lyin’ Ted” to “Little Marco” and “Crooked Hillary.” As I preach respect, Trump is on the screen ridiculing a reporter with a disability.
Here’s the kicker: a major party presidential candidate isn’t following the same rules of decency that I expect from my 2- and 3-year-olds. This dissonance is troubling. We may think we can protect our kids from the world’s nastiness, but they absorb everything happening around them. They hear the news in the background, catch glimpses of press conferences, and listen to our conversations about the election with friends.
While adults might be able to sift through Trump’s words and tune out the drama, kids take his incendiary comments at face value, which can have serious consequences. Just recently, a mother in Fairfax County reported that her third grader was bullied by classmates who said he’d be deported if Trump won. The more vitriol they hear, the more likely they are to repeat it.
Even if Trump doesn’t win the presidency, his inflammatory language will linger long after Election Day, which worries me more as a parent than as a citizen. He’s already suggested that the election might be rigged while giving a playful “wink wink” to his supporters about taking action if he loses. This attitude will ripple down from the podium to the playground well into the future.
We can’t ignore that Trump is tapping into a segment of the population that feels abandoned as the economy shifts from manufacturing to technology. They need a voice, and he’s become their megaphone. However, we’ve also witnessed how he treats those who disagree with him, like when he insulted the mother of a fallen soldier.
If this is how he behaves towards a grieving mother, I can’t help but wonder how much empathy he’d have for those struggling to make ends meet, like the unemployed factory worker or a parent unable to afford safe childcare. Even when he mentions the concerns of minority groups, I find myself turning down the radio, fearful that my kids might pick up on his heated language during their playtime.
For now, my children remain blissfully unaware of the political world, preferring to wrestle each other during their free time. I don’t mind a bit of roughhousing, but we have some basic rules: no horse collaring, no hits to the face, and definitely no kicking someone when they’re down. Day after day, though, we see Trump ignoring these very basic tenets of engagement, mercilessly mocking anyone who dares to cross him.
Whoever takes office this fall will guide my children through their transitions from home to preschool and then to elementary school, where they’ll learn about the values our country was founded on — freedom, justice, and equality of opportunity. I wonder if the lessons they learn in school will align with the reality they see around them or if contempt will become the norm, rendering tales of tolerance and acceptance a thing of the past.
This election is about more than just selecting our next president. We are choosing the kind of discourse we want from our leaders. We must decide if the values we wish to instill in our children — kindness, understanding that words and actions have consequences — are merely lessons for compliance, or if we truly want them to grow into responsible members of society. If it’s the latter, we cannot overlook the behavior exhibited by Donald Trump.
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Summary
This article discusses the challenges modern parenting faces in the era of Donald Trump, highlighting the difficulty of teaching children values of kindness and respect while a prominent public figure exemplifies the opposite behavior. It reflects on the impact of Trump’s rhetoric on children and emphasizes the importance of maintaining integrity in discourse, especially as future generations learn about civic values.