Hey there, kiddos! It’s time for a little chit-chat with Mom about something pretty significant. I’m not claiming to be a guru on this topic, but I’ve been around the block a few times, so maybe I can offer some insights. Remember our dinner table talk the other night about friends, fitting in, and all that popularity jazz? That was a tough convo for me, and I didn’t quite know how to express myself then. But after chewing on it for a few days, I’ve got some thoughts I’d like to share.
Right now, I know it feels like being popular is the end-all-be-all. Some days, it might even seem like it’s the only thing that matters. I get that your school days are filled with moments that have nothing to do with math or science. You could be surrounded by a sea of classmates, yet still feel isolated or overlooked. And while Dad and I keep telling you to just be yourselves, I know it feels like you have to put on a show to fit in—like emulating the cooler kids or those characters you see on TV.
Picture your coziest pair of sweatpants for a second. You know how I look forward to shedding my work attire for something comfy at the end of the day? There’s nothing quite like slipping into those fuzzy fleece pants and a soft, well-loved shirt, free from tags that bother your skin. Can you see it? Sometimes we wear our comfiest clothes out and about, but mostly, we reserve them for home—where everyone is just as cozy and nobody judges your look.
Now, let’s think of those comfy threads as your most authentic self—your true essence. I hope you feel free to be your real selves at home. It should be a sanctuary where you can just be, knowing you’re loved, no matter what. Home is where your family knows who you really are and accepts you wholeheartedly.
When we step outside, though, we often feel the need to spruce ourselves up a bit. Society teaches us that despite our love for sweatpants, we should don jewelry, makeup, or stylish shoes before leaving the house. So, we throw on those tight jeans and maybe a fancy shirt that needs ironing, and we convince ourselves we look great. And that’s fine! There’s absolutely nothing wrong with wanting to look nice.
But here’s the kicker: we also dress up our true selves before facing the world. Some aspects are essential, like making small talk or showing good manners. But sometimes we laugh at jokes we don’t find funny, or we engage in activities just because we feel pressured. We might even make choices we know aren’t right, all to gain others’ approval. Trust me, I did that for years when I was your age, and sometimes I still catch myself slipping into that trap.
The problem is, if you keep this up for too long, it’ll start to feel really uncomfortable—like cramming into a pair of jeans that’s a size too small. You can manage for a bit, but eventually, you’ll feel restricted and begin longing for those cozy pants back home.
It’s crucial to pay attention to that discomfort. Your true self doesn’t want to be squeezed into something she’s not. It’s not that she’s against change or growth; she’s just not willing to sacrifice her integrity to fit a mold.
One of the most courageous things you can do is allow others to see your real selves. I know it can feel a bit like walking into a store in your pajamas. Will folks stare? Will they mock you? But here’s the truth: when you show your real self, you might just inspire others to do the same! And let me tell you, as tempting as it might sound to bask in the glow of popularity, there’s nothing quite like having friends who embrace and accept you for who you truly are. Once you’ve tasted that kind of friendship, you’ll never want to settle for anything less. You’ll pick those fuzzy pants over those tight jeans every single time.
What those popular kids might not realize is that their followers don’t really know them. They only see the version they present to the world, not their true selves. You can’t be genuinely loved unless you are genuinely known.
When I was your age, I thought being popular was my goal. But now, I understand that being known and loved for who I am is far more valuable. I want to be real, and I want friends who are brave enough to be real with me too. And yes, I want to live in my sweatpants—both literally and metaphorically.
So, let’s be brave together! Let’s make it a point to show up as our true selves as often as we can, and keep an eye out for others who want to be genuinely loved and truly known, just like they are, in their comfy attire.
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In summary, let’s embrace our true selves, be brave in revealing who we are, and cherish those who accept us for it.