My five-year-old son, with his flowing locks and adorable features, has often been mistaken for a girl. It’s a common occurrence, and I find it amusing most days. Once, while on the bus to school, a lady complimented me, saying, “Your daughter has such beautiful hair.” I smiled and replied, “Thanks! He sure does.” Her cheerful demeanor quickly shifted to discomfort, and she scooted away.
Another time, I witnessed a boy pointing at my son, taunting, “You’re a girl.” A fierce look from me and a stern “Hey!” was all it took for him to scurry off. My son has heard the phrase “boys don’t have long hair” more times than I can count, along with a laundry list of other gendered expectations.
As a woman, I understand how society has historically dictated what I should like and how I should behave. The pressure to conform begins even before birth—pink for girls and blue for boys, long hair with bows for girls, and short hair for boys without any accessories. Girls are molded to be future nurturers, while boys are pushed toward the rugged world of trucks and superheroes. And don’t even get me started on my feelings about superheroes; that’s a topic for another day.
Having sons has truly opened my eyes to the challenges men face regarding gender norms. My son enjoys wearing dresses and painting his nails. We’ve had extensive discussions with his daycare about how to handle teasing and to ensure he feels accepted just as he is. My husband, in his infinite wisdom, even painted his own nails to show solidarity.
Recently, while shopping, my son picked out an orange-and-white-striped shirt adorned with eight—yes, eight—decorative pockets. It’s an odd choice (okay, I think it’s downright ugly), but he adores it, and that’s what matters most to me.
It gives me hope that society is beginning to prioritize equality and individuality over outdated gender stereotypes. Companies like Boy Story are producing boy dolls, challenging the conventional toy market. They face an uphill battle, but I believe in their mission, and thus, I believe in them.
When it comes to gender, I’ve never understood the need to pigeonhole people. My husband exemplifies how men can be nurturing and emotionally intelligent—he’s often more in touch with his feelings than I am. He would choose to stay home with the kids if circumstances allowed, while I would only do so if absolutely necessary. I have no judgment for those who take on that role; it just isn’t for me.
So, why can’t we simply be who we are? Isn’t that the key to happiness and confidence? Shouldn’t my son be free to pursue his passion for fashion design or any other interest, no matter how “feminine”? While I can’t shield my son from the world’s pressures, my goal is to help him build the confidence to embrace his true self. I believe his authentic self will be extraordinary.
For more insights related to parenting and gender, check out our other blog posts here. And if you’re curious about the world of home insemination, this resource is a fantastic guide. If you’re exploring IVF options, here’s an excellent resource that outlines the process.
Summary:
This article emphasizes the importance of allowing children, especially boys, to break free from traditional gender norms. The author shares personal experiences with her son, who enjoys expressing himself through clothing and interests typically associated with girls. By fostering an environment of acceptance and individuality, the author aims to instill confidence in her son, encouraging him to embrace his true self regardless of societal expectations.