Let’s face it, once you become a parent, you’re suddenly a role model whether you like it or not. This often means changing your behavior, and for many, that includes cleaning up your language. But hold on to your hats—there’s a new book by a cognitive science professor that might just give you a little leeway. Yes, you read that right: it’s okay to let a few choice words slip around your kids!
In “What the F: What Swearing Reveals About Our Language, Our Brains, and Ourselves,” Dr. Liam Gordon, a linguist and cognitive science professor at UC Davis, dives into the subject of swearing in front of children. This research is a game changer for parents who fear that their casual language may lead to their kids dropping f-bombs in class.
Dr. Gordon noticed his own language changing after becoming a dad, and that got him thinking: Is all that censoring really necessary? After digging into the research, he found that it’s not the words themselves that are harmful, but the context in which they’re used. Swearing is different from slurs, which are insults that can damage someone’s self-esteem. Ordinary profanity, on the other hand, doesn’t cause any direct harm—no increased aggression, no hindered vocabulary, and certainly no emotional numbness.
Of course, Dr. Gordon makes it clear that swearing at your kids crosses the line into abuse territory, but using expletives in their presence? That might just be okay! Kids hear all sorts of language—whether it’s from their parents, music, or even sailors discussing their latest shore leave.
As a parent myself, I often find myself playfully chastising my partner for letting a curse word slip in front of our little ones. Not because I think it’s a big deal—trust me, I have a mouth like a sailor—but because I believe there’s a time and place for everything. I definitely don’t want my six-year-old thinking it’s cool to swear during math class! Kids don’t yet grasp the nuances of social situations the way adults do. While I can tone it down at work, I can’t expect my child to differentiate between swearing at a football game and dropping an f-bomb in church.
So, as long as you’re not using profanity to hurt someone, who cares if a few four-letter words make their way into your vocabulary around the kids? It’s comforting to know there’s some scientific backing here—not to justify cursing in the school drop-off line, but at least to lighten our guilty consciences when we do.
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In summary, a new book suggests that swearing around kids isn’t as harmful as we might think. While it’s important to teach them when and where it’s appropriate to use certain language, the occasional slip isn’t going to ruin their moral compass.