In 1991, the film Sleeping With the Enemy hit theaters, revealing the unsettling reality of a seemingly perfect couple living under the shadow of an abusive partner. I was just a college student at the time and thought, “No way would I ever let a guy treat me like that. I’m too strong for that.” Fast forward two years, and I found myself in a relationship that turned out to be a lot like the one in the movie—filled with anxiety and fear. It didn’t start out that way, though; he was charming, handsome, and fun. But as I became more attached, the verbal and physical abuse crept in. Ten years later—and four years into our marriage—I finally escaped. Thankfully, he had moved on to someone else and wasn’t interested in tracking me down.
Now, America seems to be enamored with a similarly dangerous figure vying for the presidency. Many supporters adore him because his antics validate their own frustrations, while others stubbornly ignore the warning signs or choose the “lesser evil” simply because they despise his opponent.
Is this presidential candidate the man your mother warned you about? Take a moment to ponder these questions:
1. Is He a Control Freak?
Initially, he dazzles you with charisma, making you laugh and instilling a sense of safety with his take-charge attitude. You feel flattered that he chose you to bask in his spotlight. But soon, you notice the little things: he laughs a bit too loudly and scowls when he thinks no one is watching. Suddenly, he’s dictating your wardrobe and your social circle. When he publicly insults you, guilt washes over you. Surely, you must have provoked him in some way. After all, he has the right to speak his mind—even if it’s belittling or inciting violence. It’s easy to overlook the red flags when you’re so enchanted by the facade.
2. Does He Thrive on Fear and Anger?
Some friends start to distance themselves, hinting that maybe he’s not the best influence. One close friend stages an intervention, trying to convince you he’s toxic. Then, out of nowhere, he lashes out, leaving you reeling. You hide the bruises and dismiss the hurt, believing his love somehow compensates for the pain. My ex’s cruel comments chipped away at my self-esteem, making me question everything about myself. The cycle is insidious, and breaking free becomes increasingly difficult. Already, our children are picking up on the toxic behavior, acting out in ways that are concerning—showing signs of xenophobia and racism. Those emotional bruises are escalating into something much more visible.
3. Does He Say “I Love You,” but…?
We loved to mock him on his reality show for his infamous catchphrase “You’re fired!”—it was amusing when it didn’t affect us. He shouts about making America great again but leaves out the details on how that will happen or for whom. You tread lightly, doing everything to keep him happy, recalling the charm that first drew you in. He insists that no one can love you like he does, promising to make you better under his guidance. When you voice your concerns, he tells you that you’re too sensitive or politically correct. You start to believe you’re the problem.
If you answered “yes” to any of these questions, it’s time to reconsider this relationship. The current political climate has preyed on fear and anger, igniting a divide among us. Speeches full of hate distract us from the progress we could make. He champions freedom of speech—just for himself—while blocking media outlets that dare to criticize him. He dismisses the struggles of women while claiming to support them.
Just because he’s not screaming at you right now doesn’t mean he won’t. In recent months, he has vilified entire groups, from Mexicans to Muslims, echoing the rhetoric of past tyrants.
It’s time for America to end this toxic relationship. This is not the nation we cherish; it’s not too late to reject the bleak vision he’s selling. When I finally broke free from my ex, I saw the damage clearly. I was bruised, but I began to recognize that he wasn’t good for me.
And Donald Trump isn’t good for us either; he’s leaving us with a metaphorical black eye.
For more insights on relationships and choices, consider checking out this other article or if you’re interested in family planning, this excellent resource might be helpful.
Summary
America is currently entangled with a candidate who embodies the traits of an abusive partner, exploiting fear and anger while masquerading as a charismatic leader. Just like in my past relationship, recognizing the warning signs is crucial to breaking free from this toxic influence.