In recent years, it seems like mass shootings have become a fixture of our reality. Just yesterday, a playground in a small town was rocked by gunfire, injuring students and a teacher. Days before, a commuter was shot in Houston, and a shopping mall in Washington state became the scene of tragedy yet again. As unsettling as it is, we need to prepare our children for these grim possibilities.
Before I stepped into the role of a stay-at-home parent, I spent my days as a middle school language arts teacher. The Columbine tragedy occurred just before I started teaching, and while it lingered in the back of my mind, I didn’t give it much weight—after all, these events seemed isolated. But then came 9/11, and working in Arlington, Virginia, brought the horror even closer to home. I can still hear the low-flying plane that struck the Pentagon, and the fear in my students’ eyes as they worried about their families.
Fast forward to my third year of teaching, and the D.C. sniper was on the loose. Our school went into lockdown as the terror unfolded around us. We practiced shelter-in-place drills, taping up windows and remaining silent, all while trying to maintain a facade of normalcy for our students.
When my first child arrived, I took a break from teaching, but my quiet life was shattered by the news of ongoing tragedies. I adapted my outings to avoid crowded places, thinking that timing my trips could somehow shield my family from harm. But as my kids grew, I realized it was time to have “the talk” about safety in school, which included hiding in closets and barricading doors. Teaching my little ones about such dark realities was a challenge I wasn’t prepared for, especially since I struggled to explain the concept of death itself.
Then, the unthinkable happened. A man living near us was arrested for plotting a mass shooting, armed with 25 firearms and thousands of rounds of ammunition. That moment jolted me out of denial: I needed to make sure my kids were prepared. So, I sought help from a friend, a trauma specialist named Clara Greene, who provided invaluable advice for navigating these difficult discussions with children.
Tips for Discussing Safety with Kids
- Answer questions without overwhelming them. Gauge their specific concerns and address them directly.
- Encourage discussions about emotions. Help them articulate their fears and worries with specific safety plans in mind.
- Be ready for regression. It’s natural for kids to seek attachment during stressful times, so plan accordingly.
- Remember, adults often find these conversations scarier than kids do. Keep the focus on your child’s feelings to avoid amplifying their fears.
- Make sure your anxieties don’t spill over onto your kids. Acknowledge your fears and create your own safety plans, while also seeking support from others.
Parenting can be daunting, especially when considering the potential dangers our children face. We empathize with grieving parents we see on the news, and it’s easy to imagine our own kids in similar situations. However, facing these fears and preparing our children is essential in today’s world.
And hey, when the kids are finally asleep, it’s perfectly okay to pour yourself a glass of wine or shed a few tears. After all, we’re only human.
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Summary
In a world where mass shootings are becoming more frequent, it’s vital for parents to prepare their children for potential dangers. Open discussions about safety, emotional support, and practical safety plans can empower kids while allowing parents to manage their own fears. Seeking professional guidance can also help navigate these conversations effectively.